LovelyDovelies

2011-03-04T19:44:00.001+08:00

im Amy.

i'm leaving my january and february memories behind.

I'm moving. Bye

You wont even know im gone ..

2010-11-24T09:31:00.002+08:00

Come lets blog. its been a while since i last do sooooo. wow. kids are blogging. ahahaha, kids like 11 and they beat me to it. ? Well whatever. i dont have the time since work starts :D At least i earn money (: 2nd month pay coming in sooooooon !

kay life has been a hectic more or less. family wise, okay :D

Me and Fizzy we are close friends nowwww :D while things are under more or less construction.

in my heart, there is no longer number one. only two and so onnnn :D

So they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, well to me, absence makes one forgets the existence of one :) LOL.

not really lahhhs. only for some TEEHEES!

okays gtg noww. will update this lovely blog of mine sooon enough . hees!

Oya, attachments been fun, only if you dont work continuously :D

Amy (:

2010-11-09T13:41:00.001+08:00

am i really that bad or irritating that when i need company, people R not that for me? and when i dont need the company the people R thr?o.O

seriously..

2010-10-04T12:59:00.003+08:00

i really just feel like posting this.

im freaking tired of being there for people who needs me to be there when they needed me most.
im freaking tired is because they are never there for me when i needed them to be..

ima human. ive got feelings too. sometimes, just wish your fairer to me..

im not saying this to pissed anyone off. im just stating my thoughts. not happy? Get lost.
you guys simply dontknow how it feels like to be in my situation..
Things can never be the same now, i guess.

Gotta go. needa bath and meet baby later @Vivo.

Seeya.

AmyLerman Loves you

// will add introduction and twitter when im done shopping later.

Hve a BIG project on hand ;P noone really knows what it is..

here i am :D

2010-09-12T23:35:00.005+08:00

helllllooo people! im back blogging.. ! luckily there's aint no reader.., YET! hahaha, yet okay.. im planning to make people read my blog.. oh well, ive gotta change. right? haha, what to do. even boyfriend is not reading.. -.- ohwell. wait for the changes, and may ive alot of readers aye:DD
anywayyyyyy,
well, i cant believe i actually cried while watching the show Personal Taste! (: It just saddens me when i see the lead actress being treated in such a way.. Kae In or something.. AWW! thats her name in the show.. and LEE MIN HO is there :D aww.. i see sparkles :D hahaha, anw, tomorrow is my last UT. and guess what, its my favourite UT and i havent study for it ! HA! even as we speak eh? Teruk teruk... sigh): Ohwell! on the bright side, after that i could work or update this blog regularly! ha! AS IF. -.- gonna earn money lahhh. not gonna, is a MUST!! have a plan for BFF 17th and 18th birthday present.. Hey BABE! sorry for the delay okay?!! You die die have to wait for the birthday present(s) okay?! DIEDIE ! HAHAH, dont give up hope on me lah.. you know im always creative when it comes to this kind of stuff.. well, some sort.. (; HEH! only the best for you lah babe!

okayokay.. lets talk about my UTs. Cognitive.., normal normal lahh.. the same for UT1 and 2.. why? actually i loved.. LOVED, notice the past tense? yeah, grats to someone who make me dislike the module.. Enterprise.., kinda the toughest ut3 among the rest.. ahaha, well, its more into memorising the stuffs.. irony as it is, programming ut3 is not that tough to me.. maybe is because of 3 things.. i referred to the 6Ps unlike ut1 and 2. then the questions is shorter than the previous uts, and the duration is shorter from other uts. hahaha, and maybe i studied abit... so its not 3 but 3 and a half? :DD hahahaha.. and for science ut3.. well i hope i pass.. cos i make the non logical seem logical to me no matter what.. hahha, i think if i put in the same amount of effort for Olvl science, i doubt i will get e8 for it. ha (: ohwell, some things are better not to be remembered.. hahaha. (:

i love korean love dramas! why. dont like it is it? Cant live with it? Then go to the sea, and drown yourself down. hahaha, no life (: okay, that was just being random!! hahaha! seriously just being random..

okay on phone with boyfriend right now... gotta go (: gonna watch PERSONAL TASTE and be immersed with LEEMINHO ;)

Amy loves you (:

edited

2010-08-29T23:22:00.003+08:00

done editting my blog. left with my introduction and abit here and there. hee!
hmms, hopefully baby boy is recovering as we speak..
home preparation for Raya'10 :
done with most kuih.
there's sarang semut cookie. In eng its,
nest Ant. but no, we are not using real ants :D
theres cornflakes cookies.
theres 2 different type of chocolate cookies.
one with nuts, one without nuts :)
tomorrow doing pineapple tart with mommy!
yes, all time favs~!
hopefully i coming RED day or some sort tomorrow so i can give my opinion...
hee!
hopefully i will come before Raya. wouldnt wanna go out with family with worries and paranoia bout it.
hmms, all time favourite, pineapple tart :D
then left cleaning ROOM and HOME :D
alright im off from here.
update soon enough. oh yes. my twitter :D

AmyLerman..

update update date! :D

2010-08-26T18:11:00.001+08:00

will try to update more often. Good news is that, i am uploading photos! hahaha,
yes ive begin to upload. and i realised that there are tons of photos to be uploaded,
be it with friends or by myself! by most is with friends. ohwell.. not forgetting with boyfriend :DD
hmms, 1st thing. my laptop is infested or more or less there are RED ants inside!! FREAK!
i mean, yeah sure, everything also must explore. but can make my laptop an exception not? lol.
realised is due to my table that area. once my brother go to work at night shift later, i will try to clean it! idk how many ants ive killed. not that i want to. its just my natural way of reacting..

kk. update soon enough. i uploading pics! (:

2010-08-19T20:27:00.002+08:00

i guess looking back to my previous posts,
pay no mind to it okay? haha.
i guess, im done looking and mending stuffs.
now. im just tryna be a better person..
err, as in personality wise and etc. so yeah.
changed my blogskin once again. gonna edit it soon enough.
hmms, i will blog soon again.
and uhm. friends come and go.. true friends stay behind.
so which are you? i guess, i ROUGHLY know who are my true friends, and who arent.
but itsokay.. i shall see. im always there for you guys... (;

AmyLerman.

heartfelt..

2010-08-03T14:26:00.002+08:00

im not trying to be mean. neither am i trying to break friendships as and when i like.

what makes you think i enjoy breaking friendships? it hurts me more than you could ever think okay. i treasure and cherish friendships more than you know. Only God knows why i treasure and cherish them.

time and time again, i experienced f/s that doesnt last. and it hurts. you may think since it happened before to me, i wouldnt mind. i do actually. darn lot. and, im finding a malay girl AND boy to be my close friends.. for now, havent found any yet. anyway, i not gonna post much.

till here. im off.

Edited

2010-07-26T20:46:00.001+08:00

Edited my blog (; Sick with the old. found something that is both pink and green?
well this is.. or somesort. Me and Fir is okay alr! (: What he dk is that he thought ive forgotten bout his bday. hahaha, i didnt wish him. ON PURPOSE! opps! i shouldnt say now should i?
Ohwell. doubt he's visiting anw!

gna re edit my blog soon again! (:
Miss me aites?(:

my heartfelts..

2010-07-23T10:02:00.008+08:00

ive just gotta learn how to smile and hid all the negative feelings from the people that whom care for me, like as if what happened is just a bad dream.

sometimes, being oblivious to things, is the only way to escape from being drown to the depth of hurts.

----

have you ever been so sick of your life now, that you want to go back to your secondary school life? yes, who hasnt. dont know what yo do now. am lost. always in a team, i felt that i drag them down. im sorry. to everyone who has been in my group before.

dragging people down.. thats why i always dread the idea of being a leader. like what? ive been leader twice out of 13 weeks? like zomg right?!

and finally pictures right? yup. thats my boyfriend. my MALAY boyfriend (; My MIA. heh! 050510.. today he isnt with me.. maybe fetching me from school. provided he's well and all. My love, please take care. Truth be told, i thought that previous boyfriend is the most doting one and all. he is, but Love has been more doting than the previous one ((: i love you. he bought me stuffs and pamper me like what? much can? and what, we only quite a newlycouple(; Ilovethisr/s. hope everytime would be like this gooooooooood. (;

this is my bff. and i missed spending time with her. though just recent i have been going to her house, but it aint the same like how we used to during the hols. long story short; i missed her.

this is my girlfriends that would last me a lifetime. secondary school friends are there for you through thick and thin. know why? know why somehow or some way, they are always on the priority than tertiary ones? cause for 5 years we've been through almost all the things together, while tertiary ones, those that are not as good, are what? minimum is 6mths or 1mth. max is 3 years. how to compared to 5 years of friendship. ? hey girls. if you are reading this, i missed those times. its been a while since we last hang. please make one soon. Real soon.

am not happy with the current situation. Its not about my wonderful W34F mates, neither bout boyfriend. all im being bothered right now, is just one thing. and that is thing that is outside W34F. God knows why i treasure friendships so much.. Sadly you dont. and you chose to be with those that you think could make you happy. How hurt it seems. Cause ive considered you as a source of my happiness. Yet.. Am puzzled why i can never have one malay bestie. Like, is it so tough? the first one is in primary school. She went to another girl during P5. When knowing that that friend abandoned her for some new friends, she come find me. As young as i could be at that point of time, i was hurt and kept my distance away from her. She nice and all. Shouldnt have. Prolly, she is in junior college by now. A bright and pretty girl. Sadly, now we hold no contact. Since primary school, ive been labelled as the weakest one. Always been bullied. Sec1. Mixed with Chinese instead, till this 2nd malay girl came. Thought shes could be it and all. But mixing with her make my academics grade fall. and she blame me for what happened to her. Most importantly, she trusted hypocrites than me. Make a hell out of everything. Vandalised my name everywhere like a low hooligan. Of cos she with the hypos. Thank God, My family is there with me through thick and thin. Then apologised. Wanna make things like the old times with me. Wrote multiple of apology letters. As usual, i ignored. Ignorance is bliss right? Now, only the hypos still pestering me some time. No life ~!.

Now. You. A fun, lovely, cute cheerful, loud, fashion type of girl. Someone i can be close with. Dont know why i cant talk to you over your personal issue. But just to let you know. If you ever read until this post. Ive treated you like my sister. You may have others and dont need me much. And we may not be as close as last time. But im always here for you. This time round, i would not let it be ruined. Cause she's worth it. Much.

No wonder i always around Chinese only. Dont know why i cant mix with Malays. Maybe because ive got chinese blood in me? lol. hahaha, All's well, end well. Iwill be okay. Things will be okay.

Needa HANGGGG! texted mr Loh. LOL. really become a teacher. lol! Relief .ME too. hahaha, but over the hols ((: Dk next week can get? Hope if apply LOA, will be approve... But guess no. Oh well.

Can i relive my old memories? Iwannastayinnanchiau!!

shitxsz going around now

2010-07-13T19:36:00.002+08:00

im speechless. nothing to say at what and how things are now..
gonna try and get to the bottom of things asap.

and girl. i will post something about you soon enough. this is for hurting someone who dear to me.
and bitch. i will settle with you asap. this is for borrowing stuffs and feign pretence with us. remember you are just plain 13 years old this fucking year. dont act like a grown up. dont act like guys are really going GAGA for you -.- please. they just want one thing. SEX. see yourself in the mirror. see the way you behave you know anything and dont act like as if you are my age. fact is you dont even have the cash to buy one. stop pretending like as if its yours you bitch. Return what isnt. Till you dont, i wont let your life be at peace you fucking bitch.

AmyLerman.

random

2010-07-03T17:32:00.002+08:00

time to update this blog. perhaps a short one.
okay there are few things which ive done, and wanted buy failed to achieve.
firstly, the online bag that i want, is OUT OF STOCKS and yet they didnt state it.so
i failed to get what i want.
next i failed to be well, so means today i didnt go ndp. T.T
talking with bff later at night. discussing to buy which bag :DD
hmms, i failed to be a self disciplined girl. and it sucks currently.
WELL HAPPY POP TO THE UGS IN NCHS ((;

anyway, currently, problems surfacing. and ive got something to say to that low life creature.
LET ME EMPHASIS ON SOMETHING! AND I WILL BE CLEAR ON THIS!
ITS NOT THAT IVE NO GUTS, JUST THAT IVE TO BE CLEAR OF WHAT TO DO FRIST BEFORE MORE PROBLEMS SURFACE. SO I POST THIS THING HERE.!

Ive regretted doing something. And that is having you part of my life. HA! What a low life person you ARE! Before saying others, REFLECT on your fxcking self. Say alr, then say like that? Want say, JUST say. pointless shooting people aimlessly. Old story alr, bring it up for what? you say also for what when you deleted the person from your friends list? REDUNDANT MAN. You are just a SS person. Wanna know what that is? A SYMPATHY SEEKER! Go on! Bad Mouth bout the other party, when you knew the truth yourself! i despise you! i could go on... but when the situation requires so.. for now, YOU LOW LIFE CREATURE, FUCK OFF AND STOP DISTURBING FROM OUR LIVES BYTCH!

done for the day. gotta go!

Amy.Lerman

Would you rather swim in a pool or the ocean?

2010-06-30T11:23:00.001+08:00

Ocean cos of nature.

Ask me anything

2010-06-16T10:06:00.002+08:00

WTF is happening.
Nothing is the same..
Everything changes.. i guess..
go away.
far away.
if not,
i will.(;

amylermanLovesYou.still.(;

watch what you say..

2010-06-15T19:05:00.003+08:00

its been awhile since i last update. yes, ive realised xD
the last post was in the beginning of the hols, and now it has been the beginning of the start of school. OMTuhan! )): miss waking up late in th afternoon..
well, there are events happening!
12thmay2010 : BFF M18!
15thMay2010: JaslinToh NC16!
22ndMay2010: BaiZhiyu M20(:
25thMay2010: Dearest 2nd Sis R26!
29thMay2010:MINE M18!
30thMay2010:Gabby's M18!
31stMay2010:Afiq's M18!
Audrey's NC17!
2nd June2010:Arina's M18!
15thJune2010:Dearest 1stSis R27!

celebrated Aunty.Arina's M18 bday! watched movie at PS and headed down to OC and 313 Somerset for dinner (; Tons of fun, Tons of love((;
recently, hahaha, is just on Sunday, celebrated BFF and mine M18 Bday! XD i am overwhelmed by the presents and surprises given by them! though i may not show it, (cause i was tired. or SHAG xD) but i love you guys. thank you so much for everything! ((:
tons of fun! watched Killers (2nd time) and it still hell of fun! xD
it also made me realised one thing. People may be nice to you. but it doesnt mean they are trusthworthy!
i not saying ANY of my SECONDARY school friends, for i know them for 5 years. Those that i recently knew.., and let them into my heart just cause they look innocent and are friendly, i thought they are trusthworthy. today i learnt the truth. well, not the real truth. but my gut feelings says so. so i guess it is real. damn, utterly disappointed. thought i could trust you. guess i could not afterall..

anyway, nuff said!am waitingfor boyf. to finish silat! damn fun! maybe joining it too! i shall see ((;

k, im offta doing my RJ. then home.sweet.home ((:

AmyLerman Loves You. RMB that ((;

P/S : oya. i deleted tumblr alr. its tainted. its not what i can use. i dont understand how to use too. :/ committed to blogger ((;

happy, nappy, crappy

2010-06-02T18:21:00.004+08:00

olrite, gna update abit here. before people start complaining. heh! am outside right now, with dearest love. yup. we at skcc. bball court there. using his lenovo lappy. heh! few times nearly tio bang&crash by bball. first attempt, i saved. second and onwards, they, th bballers saved it themselves. cos why? scared by my fierce yet cute look. LOL.. guess its all happening cos they knew its lenovo.. Lenovo, drop proof. HEH. ! XDD attempy FAILED . xD HIAKK!

gna start my rhyme thingy back again. INSPIRATION where are you?! lol.

speaking of which, remind me of the ones that i made specially for dumbass. LOL

kk, off from here. i promise i will blog more. doubt the fact that i gna tumblr. just realise, i preferred blogging then tumblring. lol! we shall see ba. maybe delting account or leave it for fun. heh!

Witloves,

AmyLerman. Loves . You ((:

Sorted&Happy((:

2010-05-21T23:39:00.003+08:00

well, actually im fuming mad la at the middle of the day today.
then thought bout it.
there are people who bring your day down,
there are people too who bring your day up((:
so yea..i wanted to post bout happy.feet, w34f, and more la.
but seriously not worth it la.
i want to be me. but also.
i want people to like me cause im being me.
not people hate me cause im being me.
so im not gonna allow the slightest thing to bring me down(:
im gonna make people like me, cause im being me! :D
kk
Been having UTs lately..
Cognitive and science = okay((:
Enterprise = Double Gs. =/
left with mathematics and programming... hmms :D
anyway, done with that. update soon!
ive got tumblr.LOL.
offtey from here alr. continue soon :D
Nitey everyone!
blog soon, tumblr soon too :D

anyway, this one here, for my dear daddy johnson;
daddy, i wont ask you whats your problem,
or whats troubling you anymore..
neither would i ask you to SM when you dont feel like to.
i wont want to force you to tell me anything..
i want you to tell me yourself when you feel like to..
but do know that,
despite the fact that i dont ask,
it doesnt mean i dont care..
My hotline is 24/7 free. All you need do is to call or text.
&i'll be there..

((:

AmyLerman. Loves. Hafiz

2010-05-13T12:00:00.002+08:00

i decided nt to go to sch to revise for my UT tomorrow.
however, somehow,
im sick and i feel so weak.
down with flu and nothing going well with me.
mummy out with nephew to buy lunch.
Stupid computer cant log in to myrp.sg
thus cant download 6Ps.
then, bby sent me requires virus scanning
which like take forever to dl. Fuck.

Fuck 13.

// bby saved my life. luckily can alr. and only 4 6Ps. k im done.
i love my bby ttm ♥05052010

AmyLerman

happy birthday((:

2010-05-12T10:21:00.003+08:00

happy 18th birthday to my bff!

though we may not always meet up, and are busy with our individual daily routine,

You are always my BFF. and i did not forget bout you.

May today be a pleasant day for you, my dear BFF.

Enjoy today and always remember that no matter what, you are my bff and that noone could take that place away...

For, literally, you have been there for me through thick and thin. And you didnt gave up hope on me ((:

With much love,

Siti. your bff((:

today total AWESOME (Y)

2010-05-11T09:20:00.004+08:00

and so, i find that not updating my blog become part of my habit.
hahahaha, but cant la((: someone wants to read.
05 +05 = 10♥
me and my boyfriend, OFFICIAL one, hafiz ((: got together on the 5th may 2010.
our date is special, and i dont want to let it end.
i realised its no longer bout how long you know that someone to be together..
so long the feeling is there.. for both parties.. thats what matters..
and i love him ttm((X

my objectives in this r/s ;
loving my boyfriend the way he should be, the way he deserves,
cherishing and treasuring him the way he deserves,
less arguements, last till eternity((:

k, anw, im not selected for replug.
im not affected, but theres no IGs for me.
maybe first year is IG-free for me, aside from ndp motivator.
k best.

distance is the thing now, i believe.
sorry, i need time. i will be okay. to the siti you first knew.
((:
k done. im outta here.

AmyLerman.

misunderstanding

2010-05-04T08:38:00.002+08:00

k basically yesterday was a total misunderstanding. so please ignore my previous previous and previous post. hahaha, yup.
so please ignore my previous post. hmms, am glad its all cleared out :D
and i love it!
i love all my friends. k, outta here, bfore my fasci saw and say me.

AmyLerman(:

` SM is the way now (((((((((:

2010-05-03T18:57:00.003+08:00

forget what i post please someone.
im just down. yes it hurts.
nevertheless, be whatever happens, i will try to brace myself.
you will nvr know what it truly felt like deep down.

hafiz love is having silat now. im still in school with incomplete RJ. gna complete it before heading home. slacking with hafizlautner, helmixboyfriend and nicole.

yes i do feel that i should hide away. yes, perhaps distance is the answer.
// yes worlds apart. guess reality are finally sinking in. ur nt there for me when i needed someone to be. guess, i dont see the point of being so bothered in ur life anymore, and knowing such stuffs that dont concern me. yes people im thinking too much. yes people im typing too much. yes people, im hurt deeply.

i dont enjoy bringing others down when im down. guessthat means im not influential enough? hahaha, what a joke. gna practise my singing at home later. i GUESS.

goodbye, everyone.

AmyLerman.

inevitable outcome

2010-05-03T18:24:00.002+08:00

do you really want to know how i feel deep down? do you know how suckish it is, to type what i truly felt, but you never once take a look cause you dont know this website even existed?
i feel down. real down. i wished it didnt happened, but it did. still. and its inevitable. for its fated.
yes. the feelings faded. but the theres still lies the feeling of a treasured friend. and i hate arguing with friends i treasured the most. seriously, since the day i know you, i dont want you to be the one i argued with at all. neither do i wished you were the one i had to be stranded with.. but its inevitable. as the time flies and passed us by.. its just something we cant escape nor avoid from.
you either busy with your own stuffs, or me just too busy doing mine. i want us be the same old us the way when we just knew each other. but its just so difficult, isnt it? and came this day where we had to argued. it may seems nth to you, but it hurts me deep, cause i never pictured myself arguing with you even once. wheres the old us?
im sorry. im sorry for using OSIM excuse. im sorry for saying nothing is the same anymore without thinking. but .., dont you agree, nothing is the same anymore. it used to be just you and me walking together ahead of everyone else, and now you got someone new to talk to. is it because im with someone else? you promised never to dont care me. you promised. does all promises have to end up empty?
im sorry to even argued with you at the first place. it hurts me more than you think. especially when i treasured you the most.
perhaps i should have a new clique. perhaps its the end. perhaps, nothing is the same anymore. for real. i would really miss happy feet. i would really miss group.28.
just so you know, when your down, im down. your emotion influence mine. for whatever fucking reasons.

thats it. this the end. nomore. further elaboration. im off.

`AmyLerman

switched to fun :D

2010-05-02T00:05:00.011+08:00

k, basically, what i meant by switched is that, last time,
my BFF, my REAL BFF, used to be lazy and stuff and not updating her blog,
while i do!!and now, due to her long ride home from school, she ACTUALLY blog MORE OFTEN sehhhh. while me, who USED TO blog OFTEN, now seldom :DD LOL
well, WE ARE BFFS and BFFS do last long kk?
despite the fact that both of us have our funs and busy schedules in our individual life and school, it doesnt mean that we forgotten bout one another totally. you were the one who went through thick and thin with me.. throughout our 3-4 years of bff. and yes, this year is our fourth, and it will never be the end.. yes im talking like as if shes my love, like as if we are LES, but we arent. i may be good with words, but i meant every of them.. for, i treasure friendship more than anything, aside from kinship. trust me, on that please. (:

as for fun... hmms, today is SUPER FUN. though we met up late, and went to dhobyghaut to meet hafiz :D okay okay! i admit, its my fault la. its gonna be a long post, so bear with me ayte!
i told mom ytd that my spec is broken. the left lens dropped at idk where. lol. then, i tot she wouldnt buy so early la. sooo, expect the unexpected, she did. lol. today morning, woke up as usual to carry the groceries bags to home from dad's van. then mum said that tomorrow will be buying. and that make sure no cheating cases. like for my previous specs, in my opinion its like cheating case, cause, what they showed me is not what i get. the lens did not fit in the frames totally. and idk whats my degree. so yea. haha. so went out. INITIAL TIME is 1.30 to 2pm meet. but i push it back, and push it back to 230 to 3. cos i wanted to survey my specs at RVM (Rivervale Mall). oh. it cost 80$. hope its worth it la..
and i thought wenny need to go home by evening. so i told liqi all these and stuff. she wanted to slack at SK instead since wenny need to go off early. i said ps la, since its like middle for everyone. so yea. we wanted to go to Orchard, but just changed it to wdk since we thought wenny still need to go home early...
reached cp. the first. asked wenny, she eating in the process. liqi came 15mins after or so, ate mac. wenny joined us half way. bought candies... wenny no need to return home early :D ORCHARD here we come. LOL.
off we mrt to dhoby. (: met hafiz. bff interactable with hafiz, and vice versa. :D Happyttm!
we WANTED to walked to Orchard, but was distracted by WENNY "open house" crowd. so we went in and join the fun.. &i guess life in tertiary life, makes me more open.. hmms, i waved to 2police officers, and asked one whether we can take photos at the place.. YES! WENNYhouse is high in SECURITY. LOL. Unfortunately i dont have camera, and BFF and WEN didnt brought theirs, aside from their phones. And yes, WEN cant take her DC, despite its her "HOUSE " hahaha. so we took using the phone BFF lend me, and BFF's ((((:
WE TOOK TONS OF PICS. &its hell of F U N :D
but tiring and hot&DEHYRDRATED.bring water if want come. cause it was like 4plus or smth? and we go there for a hour or so. Saw eagle.. and when we came, we make alot of noise :DD LOL. *but they also never say the maximum voice whatttt :DDD &yes, WEN didnt serve us water. WALAO. LOL
bought water from Cheers. and i thought i bought Greentea, but it was GuiHua or smth.so exchanged it with the others :DD
headed to ORC ( OrchardCentral). walked around awhile. see bags, shoes, slippers and stuffs.. Elevated up to the Sky Garden or smth.. in the process, waved to one of the worker in the restaurant. LOL. cos the lift is transparent or smth. LOL. We acted like we some foreigners sehh. LOL.
so we headed up. and SERIOUSLY NICE. Love it! gonna go there sometimes :DD
headed to Cineleisure. hafiz and me Bought bag tags. *EXCUSE ME :D and WEN and BFF bought earpiece. hahaha. *Sumajin :DD
headed up cause hafiz wanna buy something.. and walked back to PS. toilet, couple labbed- etude house, U2ME and mrted to harbourfront and to home :D 159-ed home. waited for 161 for hafiz, and HSH :DD. but noone was home yet. scared myself by thinking scary stuffs.. and hafiz accompanied smsing me.. and BRO reached home :D and parents and niece soon after :D
oya, something happened before gg home. we bought OREO MILKSHAKE from sweettalk from ps there. then bff said to hafiz, EH. you cannot drink here one leh!*Hafiz poked the straw in alr. LOL.
hafiz sent me home. and had a great laughter along the way xDnoone knows why, cause its between us two :D

alright, this is some randomzxz shitzx that i came across.. can dont read one :D
and i see my efforts go down the drain..
and i can do nothing to stop it from going down more...
and as little drop by little, my heart aches..
and when it does, so does my face espression changes..
bff knew why.. i had to let it go..
i had to be open minded.. i cant believe he dont like me the way i do..
how can you not feel what i do.. sigh.
but thats jus tthe truth.. and i can do nothing bout it..
*so i wanted you to stay away.. and i wanted to stay away from you..
and i want lesser meetings now onwards.. how i wished.. - NOT.
please DONT do it.. i cant bear to lose a friend over stupid things anymore...
for iloveyou like the way i said it.. like the way i did.. like it has been always...
i just needed time.. thats all.. i'll be okay.. time people(:
k. we are just friends. forever will be. XD

it wont happen anymore. not anymore. I promise. for ive got someone alr.(:

k. thats random shit totally. lol! k, i know its wordy. but i using desktop. not lappy. and pics in my hp... and BFF! i feel like buying this phone from you lehhh! hahaha, see what youve got to say ba. (:
PICTURES ASAP. hmms, im off for dinner and sleep ba. its 120am now (:

Goodnights all,
AmyLerman(:

emofied for shit

2010-04-27T19:42:00.004+08:00

i feel low, for idk whatever shitty reason.
so i stayed back a while more, hoping to meet someone after his IG. but cant.
so i was emofied more. and now, tears are welling on my eyes for fuck reasons.
yes im down. yes im pissed. and yes, i dont know why either.
so dont ask me what the fuck happened, cause i will just break down and cry.
and you will be annoyed cause i dont have the answer to your question.
dont bother to feel guilty, even if you can meet me after receiving my text, i wouldnt want to meet you.or anyone for the night.

didnt realised you played sucha huge part in my life, till your mood could easily influence mine.
you felt down, so do i. ihatethis.feeling.~~qadpp~~
i dont want to return to old siti who is always moody. i dont want to return to old siti with bad ways in relationship. i dont want. so dont make me.
i just need to be alone. please. i will be okay.
after tonight, i promise.

and yes, its 7.47pm. and im still in school. i will be off after my RJ, i promise.

today, me and my exboyfriend;helmi, who is in my T28 ran into something hilarious. its between us two only(: a memory to be remembered. 27thApril2010.

helmi is just a friend. exboyfriend/exgirlfriend is just a status between us two :D we get along after that, and im loving it <3>

told you alr my life will still revolve around MORE 27s, even after the memories of 27thAugust2008 has died. hahha, and yes, im accepting the reality xD

action speaks louder than words right. yea. i may sound hyper, truth be told, im not.
i saw the guy in year3 that i like during first orientation day. CK. lol. damn happy for awhile. he also carry a big bag. hahahaha (:

simply low,
AmyLerman

these days

2010-04-26T21:49:00.002+08:00

alright. there's plenty for me to post, so idk where to start xD
basically, life in poly is so far so good. lets start with last wed.
wed, is mathematics module. so far, thats the best for the first week (:
we played game, and my team scored the highest thanks to an A2 student. LOL
thurs, is programming. we do more tougher things. k , skipped! nth much (:
friday. awesome day!
is cognitive problem solving module. and ABU SUFYAN is in my team :D
and i nicknamed him abu SOFIE. lol! he's my girlfriend!
and my "BFF" in class, nvr come due to flu. he is ALJHI. take note k?
so we were deciding on who to bcome leader. i kept saying Abu. then abu said smth hilarious.
Abu: We make Aljhi bcome the leader.
ME: RG? *thinking hard what is RG*
Abu: Aljhi.. Aljhi la. Aljhi..
ME: RG? o.O *was about to ask him what RG means*
Abu: -.- AL-JHI.. the absent one.
ME: OHHH! ALJHI. LOL

since then kept disiaoing him xD and he did a funny thing. cause faci talked to us. then we were explaining. somehow abu said till TRANSFER. and he did the movement like a rainbow. HILARIOUS. LOL.
then friday, cause abu got friday prayers, so he did his part and went off. and we SURPRISED him by putting him as a group leader. lol, by changing the thing at the ppt. lol!
then the surprising one for me, is that i counter attack back the questions asked by the audience. apparently only one group asked me la. lol! surprised me. thanks to abu who said he dont know how to counter attack. LOL.

k best. weekends are here. went out with hafiz (: accompanied him for his trackpants. and he OWE me. lol. tio stomachpained by starbucks or some sort. hahah. next time, it shall be only JAVA CHIP. ONLY. lol. hmms, homed after which. hmms, sunday, drawing day (:

today (monday! )
is enterprise day. bo-ring! hmms. dont understand much. after sch slacked wit fir, hafiz, helmi, johnson, jeremy, wenny and ger. sing and sang. practise for audition. tomorrow also. :D
tomorrow have archery. ohwell. give my all (:

every lunch break is baked rice day. LOL. not really. shall change soon. but worth it, isnt it (:

hmms, ive moved on. how bout you? LOL.
am glad somehow. just like the syaing goes. ada hikmah disebalik takbir orsome sort la. lol
simply meaning ; behind every bad thing happen, there's a good thing in it.
cause i tot RP is nt that good. but whatever it is, if it werent for RP, i wouldnt have met my great frens.(:

gna post bout them soon :D
till here.
With much love,
AmyLerman :P

in sch(:

2010-04-21T12:59:00.002+08:00

for once, we are so slack during our break. LOVE WED! :D hahaha only for this week.
alright. i dont feel good. nope. really. its either im too nice, or too paranoid or too bad. hmms. true enough. thats me. sigh.
either way, its still impossible. alright. im outta here. gna do some stuffs.
simply love my 28 ; happy feets.

didnt know your definition of love for me is simply simple. you will give up your love on me when there are obstacles. no comment. really. totally ruined. everything. 21st sucks. okay for today. hahaha.

AmyLerman

unofficially new.

2010-04-18T23:22:00.004+08:00

a short one. really. tomorrow monday. gona dread it till fri,3.30pm . then i will smile always (:
through the many downs, and littlest ups within these few days..,
i believe its just you and me. nobody else. i doubt whatever you guys are assuming, cause ive a feeling it aint true. or perhaps jealousy. whatsoever. anyway, its aint official. let it be. (:

my little heart just wishes to say that.
alright, perhaps im gona go sch with a bit hatred everyday. hatred for presentation. yep.
gdnite all.

AMYLERMAN

//1140pm ; could this be a good thing bout RP? we started school 2 days earlier than other polys. so when its most people first day, its our 3rd day alr. when they are so SUPERBLY nervous, we are not so nervous.. is it something that we benefits from? hahaha, for once. its something good. ha. k. fck. then sch resumes. Aww. why cant evryday be your SAT-UR-DAY at home?): im sad -.-

theend

T + S for today

2010-04-16T20:35:00.002+08:00

wanted to blog. damn tired.
my sexy voice has changed to sexy and husky! come find me,
i know you want it! LOL. dk tomorrow how go out sia.
alright im tired. blog tomorrow (:
these past 2 days hasnt been a blessed one, aside from LPC members la.(x
i was refering to my module. sucks ttm.
HELP ME YEA?
guess, should have just headed east. thats where my pace is =////
no point saying alr. it would be retarded if a poly student go ite _|_
alright. tired, hungry and sleepy& sick.
k best. done. gg to do my quiz and RJ.

AMYLERMAN

last day signifies a brand new beginnin

2010-04-14T21:52:00.004+08:00

anyway, let me start by saying, i had fun.
i would have lots of fun if it weren't for my stupid BAD FLU x(
and it still wont go away.. had a feeling it would get worsen..
and sigh, why is it i dont want the things to happen, it would happened?!?!
anyway, 2nd sis and me are both equally sick.. Hoping she get well quick..
Actually whole family is getting sick.. Hoping that they are healing faster. well, family comes first remember?Lol.
anyway, wanna grumble about a thing or two. first and foremost, actually wanted to blog bout cbox gt prob. but guess, not anymore :D first, my feet, i repeat uh FEET ah. DARKENED siol! all thanks to ytd sitting under the scorching hot sun! ): then now, i look damn retarded if i were to wear slipper ): sigh sigh sigh! than now, my feet like super pain?! Burning de feeling..
then i want to grumble bout why everyday got presentation ? but still okayla i guess? LOL.
and then, grumble bout, why my bff have to HL me with her true facts bout her sch? Argh!
and then i wanna grumble.. Why didnt i take XS size? but if i were to choose, perhaps dont have le, then i wont get ANY?!k. then i wanna grumble that that that... why do i ever have to fall sick at this point of time? Lol. no regrets or whatsoever..

Actually felt happier than before. i believe this brand new life will be great(: I will definitely missed my OG mates ahh .. Without them, i wouldn't have laughed the way i did. See what my title meant? Last day signifies a brand new beginning... After today, nomore of the past. cause i believe my world will be too proccupied with projects and stuffs. meeting up with OG mates are cool too. they occupied my mind off stuffs i dont wish to think bout. you have your life, i have mine. Deleting you off my fb soon. Since we are like strangers ? Seriously, i feel happier than before(: Thanks OG mates, Thanks to God(:

Alright, with that done. im off to eat my dinner and med before heading to bed. alright, ve the urge to follow luozhixiang dance move. k, just one of this lastest song. the statue one :D

Outta here with my oh-so-lovely voice ._.,

AmyLerman

HF HF HF HF :D

2010-04-13T21:03:00.002+08:00

today is great, except for one thing! k bad thing or good thing first?
bad thing la! :D dont wanna ruin the ending laaa (:
I told you in the previous post, i would "!@$##%#@%$*" IF TODAY nvr take dao tshirt.
k, here i go! !@$##%#@%$*!@$##%#@%$*!@$##%#@%$*!
k done. stupid lo. why is it what idw to happen, happened?!
anyway, tomorrow will be given everything. and cant be late. but not bringing lappy, so should be okay lah ba? hahaha, if today didnt went, tomorrow will sure be AW-KWARD.
Lol! really bonded till with OG mates. (: and BFF, i could actually DANCE! Lol.
not really la. not like those pro kind. but just follow the steps. *Someone danced along :D*
Amazingly true... Hee! Damn happy la! HFHF = Happy Feet :D
Lol. 28 is so ♥! alright. So tempted to use the word " SHAG" but all the wrong meaning -.-
but i still used when talking with Wenny :D but is just for fun :D
So, just like any typical love story in movies, a freshman would find someone they like. Esp in those like seniors. I found one. Just to keep my mind occupied (:
Idc he's attached or not. Just liking. Doesnt mean anything. Get it? (: Nope, never has been desperate. Just keeping my mind occupied :D Just that. Cause fallen too deep before. Need to get back, slowly, to prevent anymore injuries... =/
Tomorrow gna be damn lonely? all idk the ppl same class.. Aww.. But after 2 hours can meet them le :Dhahaha.

/to BFF : Can we exchange the disc? IF you want xiaozhu de album song la. cause i want rainie de album song. can we exchange and rip the songs from the disc? (:

k. idk i excited or nt looking forward to class tomorrow. but whatever it is, time still flies, and tomorrow is coming. just.. Face it (:

BFF. ALL THE BEST TOMORROW :DEverything will be okay :D trust me.(:my mouth what right? hahahah! you get it, dont you ?(x

Outta here.

AmyLerman

oh so.. -.-

2010-04-12T18:37:00.003+08:00

and as i reached upon the doorstep of my house, the REAL me, returns.
hopefully it was the monday BLUES that results into my sucky attitude today.
tomorrow ain't able to return NC to help out the students =/ cos of the RP shirt thing -.-
cause if i dont go, i wont get it. fine then. if i tomorrow dont get it, !@$##%#@%$*
anyway, dont wish to talk so much. i aint myself.. im still me, but just temper no good.
plus one of the game. made my leg super pain. AGH!
using comp for LITTLE while. by 7pm off. cause i wanna watch show.
oya, ytd i slept at 10.30pm. woke up at 6 plus. results? Still so slpy. sigh. this means that, it doesnt mean you slpt earlier you still be refreshed. Actually, its up to your mentality.
i'm same grp as Ger and Wen. Our group the guys damn funny. lol.
we were playing Charade. One of which, is "Little India". so the guy acted..
*Another meaning for small. * : little
* Points to his Indian friend *: India. Lol. one of the landmarks or smth.

k. some belated messages..
I had an X-ray done today, and they found YOU in my heart. The doctor said if they took you out, i would die because i can't live without the important person! Give this ♥ to everyone you don't want to lose. :)
From: Lyn baobei (: , 9.52 1-APR-2010

(April fool joke)
I didn't know tt you can't keep secrets. i didnt know tt i trust you so much but youve been spreading words. i didn't know tt im so dumb to even share w u. Not anymore i guess.. Not anymore..
From: Zhengwei (:, 19.28, 1-APR-2010

1+1= 2 eyes looking at you!
12+12 = 24 hours thinking of you!
3+4=7 days in a week missing you!
6+6 = 12 months i always remember a fun and loving friend like you :) Send this message to you friends who you never want to lose!
From: Chiawee(:, 0.42 11-APR-2010

Surprising right?! The Chiawee msg. Lol. Anw, BBALL session is awesome though short and lesser ppl. Last match was fun. and definitely proves that my bball skill has improved.
Just now, went home. taking food (Yes, im hungry despite the fact that i ate the lunch, finished but just left the chicken meat abit, and my breakfast) i asked my mom : Mom you missed me right?i know (:
And so she says: (in malay)Thick skinned!
Lol. kiddingly la, duh!
Surprisingly saw till Mdm shareen. Yes, ages nvr see her. and whats the surprising thing is that, she's NYP. dk hw come she at RP either. Nvrmd. Glad to know she fine and all.

Outta here. Wanna go NC.. next time ):
P/s: KCDW BCM says he would miss me when the time comes that i die. LOL. Sweet lehhh :D AWW. Definitely a RARE guy :D

AmyLerman

1st day/ 2nd last day

2010-04-08T19:10:00.002+08:00

today starting shan't start with a poem. lol
i just wanna say. im proud that my BCM doesn't forget what BCM meant!
i thought he would. seriously. lol. sorry BCM.
this simply proves that despite our daily busy schedules, we dont really forget bout each other (:
Aww. Ain't he RARE? LOL.

anyway, today kinda good. haha. the students.. haha kinda good. especially the Higher Malay sec3s :D Unexpectedly, 2 Chi and 1 mly guys turned up. lol. i was expecting, girls? lol.
the chinese were Malaysian. so yea. haha. grumble and grumble bout their compo topic. help them out. hahaha, called cikgu. settled :D Im good :D Lol.
alright, cant use the word "SHAG" cause as said by BCM, shag doesnt just mean damn tired. so yea. sigh. i know jiu sian half. =/ sigh, hahaha.
yesterday i slept at 3am. woke up at 6.40am kept yawning. haha
i dont want to hurt guys' ego. but why are we heading the wrong way? -Again. sigh.
anyway. done with that.
outta here :D maybe next week pon one orientation day to help out? yea im kind :D LOL

someone tell me some ways to understand guys.. please. lol
im tired out. seriously.. by everything. actually not really. lol. i can just dont bother bout it :D

AmyLerman

eventful day

2010-04-07T22:50:00.002+08:00

I'm looking for someone,
Who can get along with my friends,
Sadly, your not the man

Damn sad uh today. okay actually for one event only. Decided to meet mr N somewhere this week cause this week is my last week of hols. then say want to meet at rivervale plaza. he said no, but meet at his place. Ridiculous? Definitely. haha. now i wished to know his army friend. however, what if they are of the same kind? hmms.
I really tried convincing myself your different. however, your actions just worsened it all. Goodbye --
After which, went out with Liqi and Wen. Met at CP. Convinced mom will be home before Dad. She let me go with a sense of assurance. i did reach home bfore dad. but after 7pm. lol.

anyway, today is a fun day :D
Went out of house, go under block. Jiu see dao CW&Co. across the street. LOL. Walked to CP and withdraw money first.
Met up at CP watson. realised what i want dont have. waited a while more for wen to arrive and off we 86-ed to Rivervale Mall. Go to Watson. Bought Liese Cocktail and Body Spa thing. Off to daiso and bought the pedicure thing. hahaha. There's this electric rubber thingy, me and Wen's reaction is exactly the same.. Lol.
Shuttle bus to Liqi house. this is very funny. Everyone board the bus, except for us. we were thinking whether uncle would go Route B not. skali what wen said is spot on! Uncle go change the sign to route B. hahaha! jiu we board. then when we stopping, we pressed the bell, but uncle too busy talking, then never care us. lol. jiu stopped at SKSS. Went down, i jiu grumbled : UNCLEEEE! lol!
walked past SKSS, talking through my hat and said : you guys ... One guy jiu stared me. and stared all the way. Bugger! i know i have the look, not need like that ahh. Another Croc. -.-
Sg seriously too many Crocs. Sigh.
Reached her house, jiu doing the nails thing. And putting on make up. learn a thing or two from Liqi. She taught us how to apply eyeshadow.(: Its really like Trista Guide to life. LOL.
modelled here and there. Pics available at FB (: Some pics, i look retarded. But hello, im a newbie :D hahaha.
Went pasarmalam after that. bought Ramly burger. Slacked a while, and HSH. Walked home. Reached le, let mom eat the burger. she like dont like? hmms. Yup. kinda agree. but who cares. damn hungry. k, i shall announced this then.
Tomorrow and Fri, gg back to sch to helpout for the malay thing. Supervise the students or smth? lol. so yea. Fri after which is NP. so, is no prob :DD
lol seh. haha, im such a good kid. help out tcher :DD The thought of it just make me nervous.
K, tomorrow, chicken ham and egg sandwich for breakfast :DD

Alright. this blog is updated and long :D Lazy upload pics. Will upload when the broadband thingy is okay and stuff.

Im off for an early sleep.

Amy Lerman

ra-ra-random

2010-04-01T17:17:00.006+08:00

hello peepos! lol. to start off,
lets begin with..,

©I've fallen for a guy,
Whose like a crocodile ):
He has a very cute face, (:
Sadly, we're not on the same pace..): ©

Aww. sad uh? today nth much. slack at home. no, not slack, is SHAG.
cleared room (: Happy to the max man. And also discovered alot alot of things. Like letters. TONS of letters.. Read and crushed and threw it away. Waste of memory space.. ahaha.. Room is in a better organised way now. To me la. but to mom, so long (literally) there are things lying aimlessly around, NOT CLEAR ENOUGH. lol. cute man(:
you know what. i started roughly around 10.20pm. ended 6 am. AM hor! and its with a help of brother's gf. if without, couldnt imagine. lol. ugh.. damn shag. but manage to sleep few hours only. haha. woke up le, jiu not slpy. yea.

sigh Dear MR N. want meet jiu meet. now i okay, you dont want. why guys show tantrum, very difficult to console one. i just thought i could understand bout guys from him.. but sigh..
I really gave my all.. i really tried my best. i can set time for you. Ru guo ni bu yao de hua.. Then by all means then. haha, dont really care le la. Bye bye? Jiu bye lor. ha.
I just realised today is April's Fool day. -.- Guess didnt meant a thing to me. haha, but one thing for sure,

HAPPY50THBDAY,MRS WONG(: / GAN-MA♥♥♥♥
wished her le(: haha..
alright, mommy's homemade Kebab seems tempting. In fact, its INVITING. (:
alright, gona eat. do a thing or two. Off for a shower or so.. and TV time :D

k, looking kinda forward to tomorrow super EARLY movie. haha. with TK&Co. hmms. can someone tell me why i went to watch Xiaxue Guide to Life's videos, it appeared Ris Low. ?!?!
haha. though is funny, i really wanna watch Xiaxue's .. (:

Idw another friendship end just bcos of a stupid meeting. -.- Or maybe just not meant to be..
Alright im off. Shan't be bothered. ha.

AmyLerman

rare

2010-03-31T20:39:00.004+08:00

hello earthlings. im back (:
you know. something weird kinda happened. regarding my previous post aye,
you know im good with words, and that i could be good in profanities or words when describing bout it. but i just discovered a new and funky yet rare way to describe my feelings.
i make them seems like a poem,(?) or something. its fun cause its cracking my brain cells,
and got them working :)

For example..;

©All my wrath,
All my anger,
I penned all of them down,
Into this big letter.
Tryna sound poetic,
Hell no, I'm not pathetic.
Wanna make it sound rhythm-atic,
Well, isn't it abit problematic?© SM's AmyL

it's copyrighted of course :D By me la. duh. hahaa.
hell, dont it seems good? hahaha. there's more of it actually.
anyway, i wanna blog bout something or two. actually alot, after reading my bff's blog. but i will blog bout it another time or when i can remember or free.
what i wanna blog is about something that happened to me before i start to blog bout my day.
you know how rare the occurrences are when you sleep and dreamt that you are crying, when you woke up from it, you realised you are crying too. i experienced this in my life. in fact i can vaguely recalled that it happened rarely in my life.
and usually when this kind of thing happened, usually its dreams that concerns family or the saddest thing in life. well for me, its family of course. the last time i cried, is cause of my mom i believe.
anyway, it happened again. the first time this year. i dreamt that my 1stsister wanted to hand me over to the authorities for child abuse. and i felt damn regret and remorseful after explaining to her. i knew i was wrong. yet i tried and blame my niece. B**** huh. the whole family like shuns me out. even my bro gf's when she is there. its like there's no second chance. and it felt so damn f-real.i cried. cried damn good. i felt like there's no more family for me. even when my brother came back (inthedream) from work and asked my mom, he came to my and somehow said, " hey amy. grats, your sister wants to hand you over to the authorities" weird isn't it.? he spoke to me in English when he could in Malay. and how weird can dreams get? He called me Amy. so far, noone in my family knows Amy is me. Damn i cried. i knew that was the end for me. so i woke up. Realising i had doze off with my mom, i checked the time. 6.30am. i woke up and realised my eyes, they are wet. Upon knowing i had a nightmare, i still cried in reality itself. Cause it felt damn real. and i dont want it to happen. not that im scared to be handed over to the authorities (one should be responsible for their actions right), but idw to treat my niece and nephew like that. its bcos of me (inthedream) that everyone in my family cant meet my niece and nephew anymore. Everyone is against me. you need not to literally have the world to be against you to feel that the world doesn't need you. you just need your loved ones, like family to be against you to feel so. dammit, is all i could say.
after crying, i dozed off in the nice weather. after which, mom woked me up and off we went to little india for market after getting ready. ate lunch and HSH. Slept in for quite a few hours... Damn the weather damn good. haha.
Asked mom, why would we still cry after knowing that we cried in the dream. She said, it could be because its too saddening. thats why cant control..Sigh.
oya, me and mom brilliances. lol, actually is plain lazy and too full. but hahaa, we alighted at hougang station and board 161 just bcos it stop right infront of my house stop. Damn, we are good. LOL.
Oya, at Tekka Market there, there this one Indian restaurant ahh.. I just want to recommend the lemon juice. Damn nice lor. Is like if you feel too sick of the food right, just a sip and the feeling disappear. haha. and guess what, is 1 dollar! cheap right?! Other places all those is like 2dollar plus plus plus tsk. hahaha. and its quantity ah? like all those tehtarik de cups. damn nice. Serve with straw (:

k, im done. hopefully each post will start with the poem or smth that seems like it.
its 920pm now, and off i went to clear my room :D

how i wish you would be there to watch the movie with me, D/DA):

AmyLerman

when enough is enough

2010-03-29T23:20:00.004+08:00

today went rp with weiting, germaine bff and me. submit all those last minute stuffs and off we go. hahah. had lunch first cause ger said she hungry. alas, drank nearly half of the soup of the day, she said she's full. havent even eat her main course meal. Lol. we ate at CWP delifrance. my first, probably my last at there too.lol.
anyway, i wasnt in any good mood now for no friggin good reason. people say time is all it takes.
i beg to differ. between time and ego, which define guy best. you tell me. i tot 2 months is long enough. at least for me that is. for us to be friends at least. not as close, not as best, not as good either. im saying this as a FRIEND. nth more, nth less.
just disappointed that despite the fact time has passed, why cant you let it go, and let us be friends, once again? what more, we were classmates for 5 friggin years.
you let it go. i said hey. you rather appear offline then talk to me. well, i saw what i thought i wouldnt. but thats a wake up call.17months. hasnt always been bout me. though you bought me stuffs. pamper me.ha. what?moey can determine happiness?you thought wrong. money cant buy happiness. these past 17months.. its nt bout me. IT HASNT been. never will be. now, a promise is a promise. i shall uphold and mean every word. if this is wad you want. then yes, i would give it to you. what makes you think i still love you, after 2months has passed and we werent talking. dream on. one word boy, one word is all it takes. Disappointed.

anyway im done with all that shitty friggin thing. friends is all i need. and your nt part of it.
29 is supposed to be a pleasant date. no, im not gna hate it for you. im gna slp and let it go.
you, boy, will just be another passerby that come and go in my life. i knw u dont care. wad make you think i do.

i wish i had Alzhiemer. its makes things easier.
i gna do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.

AmyLerman

back on track

2010-03-28T00:07:00.003+08:00

hello peepos! im back to blog. but a short one for starters! (:
first and foremost, IM BACK! damn glad right? yea, i know you guys missed me too much to say. LOL
anyway, i will try to update again and again. keepin the blog alive is another responsibility. so yea.
ALRIGHT! hahaha! quote from CK.
alright, anyway. Let go, letting go.. whatever it is.. yesterday, is the last(:
i've let go, not one. but two(:
so yep. im back, im back im back! hohoho! guys link me and leave your links.
no past, so if missed my post, well TOO BAD! hahahaha!
kla, crappy. for starters ma.
tryna update sooonnn enough:D

gdbye.
Amy.L

2010-03-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

siti as of today, is happy. &shall discourage herself from remembering the unwanted memories. the memories that hurts.
currently talking with mr derek tan. (: shall go pooling on monday. lol.
hmms, siti want to apologise for any harsh posts that ive posted before. Sincerely deeply from within. i dont and wont post about it anymore. i promise.

dear ex boyfriend,
you've been a great boyfriend throughout. and whatever it is, aside from the arguements, profanities shouted at one another, the physical and emotional hurts, and other negative stuffs between us two.. aside from all those bullshitness, the gentleness and memories between us, is genuine. the love, the memories, the gifts, the laughters and jokes we shared, the names we jokingly called each other, is genuine and i truly appreciated every thoughtful of you. as far as im concerned, my love for you all this while is genuine enough. and so, i would like to take this post, as an opportunity to thank you for everything. & hope that the memories we shared remain between us and noone else. Im glad that you getting on fine with your life. goes the same for me, and im trying to have a day without you in at all. still trying. Lol. Idk how many friggin times i said at other posts, that it would be the last post bout you, but still, still existed. lol. k, this is the last perhaps?Lol. no guarantees. however i do wish this to be the last.. at least let the last be on a softer note, nicer tone, When im confident of letting you be the past.. i really do hope you would see this post. I wont hate you, neither would i treat you as close or good or best as before. you got others and you probably would do the exact same thing to me. among us two, people prefer you. so i should just welcome the new life that awaits me in one month plus to come with my friends... you've got your clique, i've got mine. either way, they made our lives feel better. &last but not least, i wish you all the best in your life and everything. thank you once again.. You will be a mark that is hard to get rid of. For now...-

i wont blog as much le. until new life comes.

Amy Lerman

M-arathon

2010-03-05T00:37:00.003+08:00

Insensitive creature.
the thing which im good at when being compared to both you and me.
i'm not an insensitive creature.
at least i didnt throw you out of my life for good (which i should have).
the probability of meeting you next time would be slim, no doubt.
let me repeat myself and make it crystal clear to you (that is if you ever see until) & everyone.
i dont go around, hating boys once they are my ex boyfriends.
dont include my Exes, they deserve to be hated. need not to be asked.
we didnt go to that extend, so this shall be the last.
i wish to be cold and mean as you. Guess im too soft hearted.
new life would start soon enough.
i hate having to care for someone still even if your the last thing on my mind.
and you will forever be my PAST. never part of my present or future.
&this shall be the last of me being bothered bout you.
this should make you happy. congrats.

ive realised long post are less inviting. shall try to keep it short.
am glad sister helping me to pay first for the lappy. HAPPY TO THE MAX.
TYVM sister. i forever love you. hahaha, that need not be told too right? :D
paying her back in monthly instalments.
however shall not be too happy. scared disappointment come in the later part.
movie marathon perhaps? Alice and wonderland? Seems interesting due to Johnny Depp presence. Kaijin ?The Jap movie bout gambling with their lives? Cop Out? Comedy cop show.
Being Human? SG movie lai de. seems hilarious. Not much of horror huh? Shall wait for my M18 movies. if the movie is not R21, it shall be Sex and the City part 2 (: this one.. by hook or by crook i must watch, even if alone. LOL unless is r21 la. -.-

I shall start saving and scrimping or whatever the word is, before start spending again (:
so they say you love yourself too much thats why you dont love anyone?
fair enough. i love someone who dont even know bout it. just someone. not the past please.
and i love him too much to love myself. thats why i hate myself. fair enough.

no, im not emo. just friggin upset. dont worry. it will die down soon.

yours truly,
Amy Lerman

mess

2010-03-03T16:36:00.003+08:00

so i took off the previous post, cause its not worth to post. cause it will just be another plain rejection. and without a doubt its just a wishful thinking on my part. fk love life seriously.
yesterday night i just cant fall asleep.
i didnt think that 1-2hrs nap in the afternoon gonna affect me so bad in the night time. stupid to the max. i cant even fall asleep when its gg to 5am. after listening to Eminem's songs, i managed to dozed off and woke up just to answer the nature call at 645am -.- i even woke up at 11plus and went back to slp for a hour. what a night. stupid night. just one of those days. ARGH.
so, maybe a short post.. - or not. so one of my friends, beatrice, organising a BBQ during end of march or start of april. OF COS i wanna go. since i missed the previous chalet. but PARANOIA sucks to the max. i have the feeling i will be outcast. its sucks to the core. i hate the feeling. hate the feeling of not bothering when its the most disturbing thing. so i told her i wanna go. now, i thought twice bout it. even if my bff were to be there, of cos i cant stick with her 24/7 right. absurd man. and its like all the people there is like im not close with. lately, i have the feeling that i received UNWANTED stares. fk you all seriously. k. not lately, but on the CNY celebration at nc. k, old siti is coming back -.- i hate paranoia. i hate having to pretend. fk. so right now, idk whether i should go not. its like hello! if i go = ruined bbq . though is like hangout and catching up times... but you should know who is gonna be there. so maybe im not going so PEOPLE can freaking ENJOY their time MINGLING with one another. see, siti is so considerate man. :D
i got experience to support what i said okay. there's one time when i needa go home due to hari raya or smth. and its like what 2006 or 2007? so there's npcc ongoing still. so i asked one of my squadmates how was them or anything. well, she said they were good, had fun and all. and i wished i could hv been there, sharing everything as well. then suddenly, she said that if i were to be there, they wouldnt enjoy as much cause BEING ME, who is go by the book and wouldnt want them to move in a squad kind of person, i would stop them. and that really annoyed me,perhaps make me till what im having now - PARANOIA. no, i dont blame that person, but i just dont like it the feeling. See, my presence would ruined everything, no?Geez!
so what do you guys think? i should go or no? if i go, i could enjoy myself. or not. yea, either way. see how.
lately, there are people who add me,presuming im a guy. fk them. stupid la. its like unwanted people. or i think virus ? hmms, maybe. so irritating. they like from other countries la. so yea.

k,now im gonna blog bout something.
you know fb got this like fan thingy thing right? once i saw till this one saying that girls who smoke is disgusting. k, this is my opinion. open to all.
whats wrong with girls who smokes? arent we girls and guys humans as well? humans do face the same amount of ordeal in our daily life right. so we (guys and girls) will be stress no? why then, guys can smoke, and girls cant? its just another method of releasing stress or frustration or whatever it is la. its like the statement is total unfair to girls who smoke. not that i smoke, but hell yeah, i did have some puffs when i was WAY younger in teenage life.its not healthy of cos -.- goes without saying la. but still why such statement. i believe whoever smokes is also disgusting be it guy or girl. then if i wanna says this, should be alright la? i find that guys who smokes is act cool kind of guy. fair? of cos you would said no, cause thats not what you intended to do when you smoke. and obviously, girls dont smoke cause they want others to see them as disgusting kind of people. k , idk where im gg to with this, but i said what i wanted. so yea. i just find it unfair when people says that girls who smokes are disgusting.

im done.
back to manga(: Tsubasa reservoir chronicles.

Amy Lerman

total frustration

2010-03-01T20:46:00.003+08:00

idk whether i should blog bout it not. but i felt kinda stress, pissed off.
i dont like it when you gave me this cold shoulder. why? what did i do to offend till you?
you meant the whole world to me. you want me to do things, just say i will do.
i dont need you to scold me. i dont need you to show me your black face.
we are like the best of bestest friends. i dont need all this fucking attitude from you.
all i need is just your pure love and care. what the fuck is happening?

ha, i shall see whether you guys can figure it or not. who am i referring to. i will blog more bout it, when i think bout it eventually.
and yes, i take back my words bout blogging the criteria of a boyfriend. i dont feel like to.
and i wont blog bout the differences of different races. period-- just gonna blog bout the advantages and disadvantages of being a boy or girl.

DONE --

Amy Lerman

events up on my sleeve. :D

2010-03-01T20:05:00.003+08:00

Alright, first and foremost,
Happy 18th birthday to dearest lim muihwee :D
Happy 18th birthday to Chunkien too :D

secondly, im gonna start and blog bout things happened lately :D
well, i received the RP enrollment form thingy. been 2 days yet haven fill in any. soon i will (:
on saturday is the CCT girl's team competition. Overall, they did within the time limit and they did great to me.! :D
after which we went to CP KFC for lunch. too many things to say, but all i know there are jokes and laughters shared among all of us, except for that ... person. seriously, i hate him (: Loves! lol.
Especially that mr chicken wing who now can be related to mr rooster! lol.
Supposingly, on saturday, liqi and i wanted to celebrate wenhui's 18t birthday with her, but due to some unexpected events that happened, we just watched PERCY JACKSON&THE LIGHTNING THIEF. Oh, and guess what. the friday night, i cant sleep. was doing my nails, daniel woke up in the early morning. and i just slept 50 mins (with additional of dinah's snoring beside me) of rest. 4-450am. and i bath at 530am prepared and meet them at sch at 730am (:
when the movie start, i started to yawn. when the movie was in it's midway i started to yawn. 3/4 of the movie, i slept with my eyes open. when the movie is coming to an end, i yawn again. -.- Note to self: next time siti, Wanna use the " By hook or by crook" thing, Have an A M P L E of REST! Seriously, it will help. so, i found the movie average. if i say its SUPERB, its maybe bcos of Logan Lerman only :D The fridge part is H I L A R I O U S(:
but whatever it is, we end up giving her bday presents on saturday (: She got what she wanted ! Loves! hahahaha. Sunday, we met up with adeline too. ! (: I maybe buying another hair dye. 7.80$ Palette. hmms, yep(: lol. ate subway. (: Alright, i love the honey Mustard, hahaha.

we were talking while waiting for 163 for liqi. we were talking.
L : Finally we had someone new to bitch bout.
A: but idk her also.
W: Cause youdk her ma..
And we were crapping bout first thing here and there.. So i intended to help W to say L
A: wait, i got something for you to say her.tomorrow, You can sleep in longer than her.
L: Ha! Nevermind, i can sleep in longer than her for 3 WEEKS.
W: (sad face) huhhhh.. dont say le la...
A: i want say something for myself. Tomorrow is my first RED day. ):
L&W burst into laughter. there are some more, but i forgot bout it.. HEH!

hmms, slack awhile with Wen after Liqi board the bus. We slacked and talked. and when my bus
come, i passed her the present. lol. TOTAL SHOCKNESS.lol ! anyway, next up . many more to come (:

alright im outta here.

yours truly,
Amy Lerman

wish.

2010-02-25T19:41:00.003+08:00

erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase erase E R A S E everything from my mind. Forget about the past. Welcome the new, let go of the old.
this is what i said to myself. it worked sometime. started yesterday night. stop myself from having high hopes. help to get rid of the past too. im outta here. happy first month of singlehood, amy.

Amy Lerman

out out out :D

2010-02-25T18:54:00.002+08:00

today went out with bro's gf. we went to MacPherson cause there the Royal Sporting House(RSH) got warehouse sales. so yep. and there's sooo many people. Cute sales person no doubt :D however, luckily we didnt went early morning, cause we didnt bought anything after that -.- nothing to buy too many people to buy. and the sales end on Saturday. yep yep. so whoever wanna buy cheap sport stuff, head there :D
after which we intended to eat banquet at either farrer park or vivocity. after much thought, we end up gg to hougang mall LJS for a meal. the girl which i like her for her kind service still working there(: when saw her, jiu smile. No, im just being friendly:D A friendly customer:)
Went to Cotton On. Got my hopes up for nothing. Thought the dress is 10$ end up is still 20$. Wrong information. but bought it anyway:D For 15$ cause of the gift voucher. Went Watson and one shop before heading to the McCafe for Fluffy and home :D
Today a simple day. All my friends are having exams at this period of time. Wondering bout something. Maybe this will be my exact situation one or two years down the road.. Ohmy ): hahaha.
I thought of it. I'm gonna try and give my all when school starts. Try not to side track too much too (:
Looking forward for this Sat outing. H O P E F U L L Y they two can make it for the
movies.. I really REALLY looking forward to it(:
I'm going to support for the girl's team(: Hopefully the same incident wont happen twice :D
Okay shall blog when there's things too :D

Outta here,
Amy Lerman(:

summary

2010-02-24T18:37:00.003+08:00

alright a fast one. bro wanna use.
1. today nothing much. mom bought big breakfast deluxe for me (: full full
2. slept at 6am yesterday. woke up at 8am plus.
3. my nephew so adorable. I LOVEYOU! haha. he imitate me(:
4. played games; viwawa and y8.com games, and edit playlist abit here and there.
5. sang songs. -.-
6. view random people profile and had a great laugh(:
7. (contents has been removed due to some slight misunderstanding. Sorry for any inconvenience cause (: )
8. im outta here.
9. last but not least, Percy's on Sat with the ladies (L)

yours truly,
Amy Lerman(:

know yourself better.

2010-02-23T16:59:00.003+08:00

somehow i cant post this after receiving the result. so i copied and paste it here then.

Below are the analysis result

and i said, i think i know myself .. lol (: some are true. or should i say most or all? idk(:
enjoy.

yours truly,
Amy Lerman

all at the same time

2010-02-23T16:29:00.003+08:00

too many things happened at the same time, such that, i too lazy to say, and i dont give a damn bout it. and i cant be bothered to. it happened in a way that i dont wish to care.
Everything happens for a reason. Every little thing happens for a reason..
&when Reality starts to sink in to me.. I found myself smiling (:
time to move on? Yeah, i will say when i moveD on. hahahaha
nothing much to say already. life is as boring as ever.
saturday. guys team did great. ours is the first flag to erected there. after events = shall not elaborate. ruin mood. went to eat dinner at farrer park banquet with wen. then, there's this group of family or whatsoever came. came sitting next to us, with music on so loud like nobody's business. as time passed, other customers from other tables start to look at their direction and ours (wondering whether do we mind or not the noise) and this is what i call " the trouble makers" or " the trouble finder" hahaha, even liqi said their playlist needs to be updated. rural people.-.-
lately the events that happened kinda make me not wanting to update. lazy. no mood. i needa lappy for sch. argh ): how to. let see how ba(:
i dont care already. by hook or by crook, NEXT SATURDAY WHETHER I CAN GO SUPPORT THE GIRLS TEAM OR NOT, IM GONNA CATCH PERCY JACKSON & THE LIGHTNING THIEF WITH WEN AND LIQI. BY HOOK OR BY CROOK! (: there, i said it.:)
anyone else wanna join do tell me yeah. thankyouverymuch. oya. i drew logo for liqi thingy... and its nice. can might as well print, but i not enough ink. idk whether she prefer it to be printed or wad also. will take pics and upload when i hv a good camera phone. man man lai wait okay?(:
my poor bball got cut.. HOW HOW HOW?!?small cut. but i scare it will big big. argh. i tattooed my bball with Amy Lerman (:
okay,
im off from here.

yours truly
Amy Lerman

what a day

2010-02-19T23:27:00.003+08:00

not gonna talk much except for the fact that today very slack. dont know why im needed in a way or another. met till Dex, Dor, Daph, Elsie and Germaine. heh! Quite happy when see till them, cause reminded bout 5B moments. Missed our class alot. damn lot. How we grumbles every F&N lesson... so on and on. today not gonna type much. Tomorrow competition. Will be down supporting them♥ >
i thought of something that makes me happy. but i cant seem to know what it is. its something bout other people falling in love, while im out of love? Cupid shoot them using my arrow, cause i hv been in love once. and thats matter. at least i was given a chance to fall in love. right?heh.
today during lecture with the sec4&5 bout crime thingy. they got mention till loanshark and runner. i jiu smile widely. dk whether anyone got see till not. dk wen got rmb the reason why nt. if nt, im the only one know why. and yes, his image popped up. i missed him too.
yes i said it at my msn personal msg. I wont hide nor run or avoid from the fact that i miss you eversince that day. cause the more i do that, the more he appears. i want it to go away by itself.
so dont look me in the eyes like i deserve this. its my life. and i dont regret whatsoever. there's other fishes yes i agree. but would it be as good as this fish? you know why i hate break ups occur in a relationship im serious in? Cause i've given my all.and once i did, and knowing he's good enough, gone. perhaps, im not good enough. perhaps thats why he deleted or blocked me from his contacts. perhaps thats why i cant contact him. and perhaps with that, i could win the bet i had with kg.haha.
the one thing i dread bout breakups is that i hate needing to know a new guy back to the scratch. and what if after all this, that guy is not a good guy? not as good as this one here.my punishment for all the errs and mistakes i made in this r/s is that i could not take you off my mind. not this month for sure. not during my 1st month of singlehood.yes time is all it takes. but unlike you, i need longer. 2nd time.. told myself not to be serious. and when i am. gone once again.

i lost a friend.

idk why at the beginning i really want to watch Valentine Day (movie). Dont know whether it's the casting or whatsoever. but when 14feb arrive, i lost the urge to watch. is it, my fond for the movie fade or i was out of love? Now i just wanna watch Percy Jackson&The lightning thief(: My Boy in there! :D

what could be sweeter than a friend saying whenever he's studying with his friends in JC, he's reminded of us, his friends that he spent together with for 5 years. Thanks yongkiong. That is the most sweetest thing a friend ever said to me. When you said that, I could just say nothing but thanks. Its the sweetest yet simple gift. &when he said that, i jiu flashback to 02082008. The 2nd group study of 2008. the most fun one. the most memorable one.

dk why today i sat beside yk's bro, yonghun, when he writing reflection, he jiu stop writing. lol. is this how every sec1 is like? is this how i was like?O.O lol.

Looking forward to tomorrow's every schedule (:

Was my facade too real to be mislead?

Let me relive the memories from 2008 please. Let me go back to 02082008.. thats all i'm asking for.

outta here,
AmyLerman

randomrandompost

2010-02-17T18:34:00.003+08:00

okay. idk for sure whether my temperature has decrease or increase, but one thing for sure, i sure know i vomited tons of phlegm out of my mouth. and it wont stop blocking my air way or whatsoever. i put my contact lens after what? 5days? haha. and ohmy. its easier la. but the uncomfortable feeling is still there. wonder whether its the dryness or something. unfortunately i have not bought myself the eye care thingy. so shall wait. tmr or smth? hmms. today so boring. i find myself sleeping after watching 1 dvd and vcd. life without work is workless. i could easily gain fats la. however its the best time to go out and shop cause not much people. yea right. without company and money. go where? go one corner and emo la. hahahaha, so lame. i hope noone ask me for exercise. i could easily have heart attack. hahaha whats worst. if there's fitness test. i sure cant cope. not that previously i could, just that now, the result would be worst. hahaha! speaking of contact lens.. i dont look good in it. my pupil is bigger than it or smth? next time im buying the 3 toner or somthing like that. alright, shall say only 2 months later. hahaha! -.- 26th is arriving. time to set aside the numbers i would wanna keep for future, and numbers i dont wanna keep. dont wanna pollute my sim card. hahaha! i realised i sound mean in my previous post. im not. im just stating facts. furthermore is my blog. my blog my say no?haha, live with it man. no? tag at my tagboard with your real name. haha, just that now, noone is tagging cause i believe they hadn't see it yet? whatever. seriously. why changed yourself just to please difficult people. no life leh like that. you may just made them hate you more. alright. im not gonna say anything bout that person and this person anymore. what has been said has been stated. i mean it. hell yeah i asked people bout will it bother them if people dont like you just because you are being yourself. various answers no doubt. kinda caught in the middle. but im sure i will sort it out eventually. just be myself jiu hao le yeah? hahaha
alright i think my lenses are super dry. damn. hmms, live with it. hahaha!
as i watched today vcd, i find myself laughing like nvr before. damn you ruined my life. hahaha! jk (: no point looking back. look forward where future is. maybe i should work at the primadeli eh?hmms, see how it goes i guess. alright im outta here. cya tomorrow?hahaha!

till then,
AmyLerman(:

past midnight post

2010-02-16T01:05:00.003+08:00

ah damn it. i will get over it eventually. dk how many freaking times i said it, but hell yeah, i will get over it. Period --
Confided into 2 people. hell yeah, two different opinions, but both damn helpful(: thanks kg and wen.
Finally my workmates added me in msn. means my 22 years old twin too! (: haha, he's away in korea for holiday i guess. aww.. hahaha! he's like done with his ORD and busy finding job i guess.
And so im wide awake whereas the most majority of the people are already sleeping soundly. heh!
probably because i've a nap earlier, had a bath and im sick. bout time actually.. haha! i accompanied sick liqi and wen to the polyclinic. spent almost the whole time with them. heh!
temperature's rising, can't taste or smell anything, everything spinning, heavy headache and itchy throat... what am i suffering again? Oh right, the usual sickness. damn it. no, im not blaming anyone here. never had the intention either too.
its been 3 days i guess. and i rinse and soaked my contact lenses, but never once wore them after that day. why? never go out is why. oh right, my computer has recover! heh, credits to dad's friend(:

i've become calmer now that i see it over again and again. picture only what. what's the big f-deal?spite me? well, if this pleases you, then congrats you've done it. but hell yeah. i'm just being sarcastic here:D for people who thought i was for real. i wonder. am i really that detestable for being me? hmms.. gonna bug people for opinons and answers.. Seriously, i myself am lost in myself. idk who am i. the real me that is.
ive thought of things to say in fb, but was held back.firstly, maybe bcos i could lost the bet i had with kg. secondly, im not gonna stoop to that freaking level. thirdly i wanna change for the better. fourthly im not so immature(:
time would heal the wounds. and what kg said does make some sense. thats why not so bothered le?idk.
wow. i missed all my friends ESP: blahblahblah -.- kiss my ass if you think you succeded in spiting me. i wonder why mrs foo has to go and work at other places. i miss her damn much. she make a good pair of listening ear! ):
stupid phlegm and muscus blocking my air-way. now i cant even breathe properly. think losing voice soon too! dont dare to sing, even alone ): AWW. hahah! guess later outing is cancelled? cause noone is telling or updating me anything.
oh brother..
i know how boring and wordy my blog has bcome. but seriously. that day at starhub. it was super duper close! she checked got S-Jet. black. all was so close, when she had to say i cant get it due to something. rest assured, its not bout anything illegal or anything. just bout some rules and regulations.. if not, i already update my blog regularly with photos and officialise my blog. heh!
i just had a bath. and i wonder. does bathing in the midnight or pastmidnight gonna have like midnight charge or double charge just like the cabs? hahahaha, cause if yes, damn i needa pay alot. hahahaha, i mean my parents that is. bathing in the middle of the night seems like so shiok la! its like, full running water, and cold and problem-free. hahaha, seriously you dont have to/wont have to think bout anything. but if you choose to, you have to deal with it la -.-
and whats best, noone will have to fight with you over the toilet or water ! (: hahaha, no im not suggesting you to bath or shower only at midnight -.- what a waste. if only i have a bathtub. i would soak myself for hours, not caring bout anything! just like how i soak my lenses xD
guess im done just here. ? nahh, not gonna care le. lost connection then lose lo? haha. beside changing number soon enough ma. but not phone. using prepaid soon. then wait for may. the perfect, right time then i use the new phone and new line. besides, maybe God dont want me use the new things because of some things? so that i wont regret or something? hahaha..
maybe after sick, i will have new life. learn to be independent!
im so getting the cotton on thing! :D Wait for me!

outta here.
AmyLermanLovesYou(:

2010-02-13T21:14:00.002+08:00

cant believe on what i just did.

saying sorry. hell yea. fuckyou siti.

it aint difficult. so long, you said sorry. so long you know its genuine.

its okay. its up to her now.

guess its time to change for good. time to change for the better.

God help me please.

nomore .. no point.no way.

--Amy

2010-02-13T20:45:00.002+08:00

i find myself trembling. find my heart sink low.
at least i took nuff initiative to add ya despite wad happened between us.
so you said is me the problem. asked you to say, why not say?
every smile is just -pointless.

will be changing number soon. but not phone. phone will be in may. congrats siti -.-
dugaan Tuhan. Sabarlah. ...

i decided to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business next time.

its the world against me now.

contact lens taken. maxi brown. Watchout for the new member of the Cullen family - Amy Cullen. ha! and so i thought my eyes were bleached. what a newbie. -.-
and so i wished. i wouldnt be happy yet. not just yet.

i thought im strong enough. but each sight breaks me down. im not strong enough. how why when?

Said what i needa to. Do what i thought is right.
needa talk to someone. dont wan ruin anyone new year eve. who? noone.

let him go, let yourself go siti. Seriously, get a life siti.
when enough is enough, no point forcing them out even when there's no limit. not worth it.
be back when i feel like to. im sure noone missing me anyway.
stupid rules and regulations.
Amy --

hotel626 for the day

2010-02-11T17:37:00.002+08:00

you know. as time passes bymany kind of things happening.. and i realised, i fallen for jason mraz songs! hahahaha k, thats random -.-

anyway, hello everyone. siti is happy today. actually you know what. on tuesday i thought i missed this show. called the bachelor rome. then i tot finish le. so as i wanted to go to my room from my mom's. i realised the show is on. and i assume the tuesday's epi is about the bachelor meeting the 2 ladies's parents and talked. so yesterday is when he choosing which girl. i was rooting for sadie la. cause she like so cute and innocent you know.and whats best is she still virgin. saving it for her future husband. and she remind me bout Sijia(:sweet!

and he chose jennifer. and i was like swearing him. hahaha. i cried when i see sadie cried. damn guys! hahaha. then before, got one show. wad fashionista one. then the guy, andrew wanna clarify with his housemate, bridget i guess. then he sweet enough buy dinner. (but said he made dinner -.-) and when they discuss bout it, the girl said they better off as best friends. F seriously. seriously, obvously, she want him. please lor. then next episode is the guy ask her friend out for a date. then she like O.O . what for when you rejected him . this is wad you get for playing hard to get. actually i dont really catch up with the epi. but this is my point of view.

and this show is at, what, 1.30am or 2am. hahahaha.

then i slept at 4am. simply cant fall aslp. cause had a 1hr40mins nap earlier. then accompanied mom to wet market and ntuc at 9.30am. mom woke me up at 8.20 am. piang, 4hrs plus not enough. then reach home around eleven. 12 jiu slp till 2. hahaha. i guai one okay. helped mom carried heavy stuffs(: love mummy! mummy good to me too. said i could change hp and line when i want to, no need wait for 26thfeb. hahahaha :D but i dont feel like to leh. see ba. either tmr, after cny celebration and gg out with bff, or other days next week. heh! :D LOVE mom!

then, online now :D blogging.

am simply waiting for the time to pass till 6pm. and now it is :D

someone enlighten me please, why ppl have blog but want to privatise it. hmms. might as well dont have one? idk la.

you know why they say Action speaks louder than words? is simply because, Words, people can say without meaning it. can be easily forgotten. While action, people mean it. cause they do it before thinking. they thought of it before doing. while words, they could talk for thousands and thousands, but nothing is genuine when they dont prove it.

alright off from here. of too hotel 626. kg introduce to me once. too scared that time. hahaha :D now not tat scary. cause EARLY evening :D

tmr no np, or have? hmms, (:

i hope that whoever in love, go be bold and get the one you love. afterall, is your happiness (:

i hope ppl willing to watch with me my first and second movie of the year . go to my fb and see ba (:

offta here.

yours truly,
Amy♥

Out in a while

2010-02-10T13:01:00.004+08:00

alright, officially im gonna be late. so bff, wait for me yea. im gonna be late(: anyway, hope engineering course is fun, heh! kinda excited tat sch is starting and sad that ive no work):
out in awhile more. accompanying bff to get her cny bag. im loving my playlist lehhhh :D
never felt this happy before. hehhh... you know. on monday my palm skin goes for a change. hahaha, no la. like my palm is suddenly all the dead skins peeling itself. yep. D I S G U S T I N G right? heh.
as i walked home from my sis's house, i was happily thinking of some things. when suddenly, reality dawned upon me. damn sad uh. what if, one day i go out, and saw A with a girl. ?!?!?!! you know, i hate surprises one, cause i cant react how i should. like, for example. if someone give me a gift. i dont like, but its polite if you smile and said thankyou right. ? i would oh. thanks. i cant hide it away!! ): so yea. damn. me. but i guess i wont ba right. idk how people can like go thru the day without thinking bout someone they like. i mean, i'm so used t having someone to like. like if dont have, i really dont know what else to think bout. sometimes i succeed la, but when i realise that im not thinking bout someone, i starts to think. -.- damn! im gonna change la. gonna use the time i have. i mean, the hols. yea. alright im off from here. (:

i always look at random friends photos to humour myself(: hahaha, it working man! haha.
should i add her as a friend? nevertheless, she's my friend since freaking sec1... k,let me ponder on it first. not worth it over a guy.(:

outta here.

yours truly,
Amy♥

ϡAmy♥

2010-02-08T15:28:00.004+08:00

Its really tough just to think of a title for this entry. with all the links has been relinked and linked, the playlist edited and me waking up just to see whethe my eye bag has reduces or not -.- im here to blog (: life is getting a little too bored at home, but its better than spending unnecessarily amount of money on transport. i wannna appeal to JC !!! hahaha~! just kidding. unfair you know. we no matter where we go, JC or ITE or Poly, we still students what. walao. a trip to farrer park costs 1.55$ my, now i see myself as an aunty already. complaining here and there, but hey! its the truth(: now, i rather walk home from CP, then took long rides. aww! how i miss the long rides ):
as i stayed at home, i thought of another short name for myself, - Aria from Mariam . but sounds like arEa instead. so i stayed with Amy, for the time being(: Amy, amy amy(: heh!
cant believe it, but at the end of the month, im going to get a new phone, but but but ... ive not been working, and how do i get the money for laptop): CRIES man. this is so super awful. im finding job. hopefully no scam or anything . dear friends, whoever have any job vacancy do introduce to me yea?(: urgently needed(:
alright, with that done, saturday day out with dear friends(: bought (like finally!) a necklace from goldheart for myself. hahahahaha, of course its NOT expensive la(: its like weekend offer. and me and bff got the same necklace while dearest got a different one. i chose that one, cause it has this Romanian 1 to 12 numbers around it. its a circle shape. hopefully, with a new necklace means a new life for me (:
sunday slacked at home. watched dvd ghost story - keramat, indonesian one, based on true story, with family. haha, damn scary i guess. its about this group of production team who goes on a recce before making a film. throughout, they encounter with weird kind of things, or "people". the lead actress got possessed. they "went" into another world. many were missing. left 3 who survived. but the in charge, so scary la. last part, she said she cant moved cause she broke her leg. asked the cameraman to help her. then suddenly, when he helping her that time, she go and bite him. so after that 3 - including the lead actress, survived and managed to come out of the another world alive. yea. hard to explain. cause as i say, you may not find it interesting. but should see it. its not long la the show. yep yep.
after which, i found myself headbanging while Linkin park on mtv. (: hahahahaha! how i miss those times i was still into linkin park. im still am though. not tat "into" only(:
anyway i was considering of rebonding half of my head(: heheh! only my fringe there ba. cant take it when its like not straight. see ba(: not now of course.
bank left with 400 plus. die):
alright, im off from here. last but not least, do enjoy the songs(:

With loves,
ϡAmy♥

A sign of relief

2010-02-05T19:38:00.003+08:00

finally, a smile curved upon mom's face. my appeal was a success. but is my 3rd choice. imagine. if i were to put any other subs, would i ever be so lucky? sigh and yeah. i wanted the first course, but got the third one instead. so mr ROOSTER! :) you no longer can "hais" me le (: go lead your chicks instead(: hahahaha! joke! discover today only.
you know how anxious and paranoid i've become yesterday. i thought they gonna tell me through my sms, but no. need to log in the website. and i was like waiting for the message -.- didnt have a proper sleep and dream. imagine this. slept at 3am plus. cant get into sleep. roll here and there. dreamt that my appeal is a failure, i guess. forgotten le. i set alarm clock at 9.30 yet i woke up before that. and what more, friends more anxious than me. not forgetting yongkiong, liqi and beatrice who asked me hows the appeal.i was waiting for the message anxiously. upon realising no message were sent, i got more paranoid, thinking i've not submitted or whatever shit. go back sleep, dreamt that it was after 2pm then release result. dont believe, check, then really. 2pm -.- was anxious. after 2pm, no messages still. - F. and so i prepared myself mentally. if no fate, let it be. If ITE is it, let it be. maybe fated le.
and i checked, and got into an Engineering course instead, whereas earlier part of the day, i told my junior i dont quite like engineering -.- sian 1/2 . but i got a feeling i will get the 3rd course, but i want the 1st course. actually okay one, but got to know that the 3rd one is engineering. sighs. so yea. but since luck on my side le, just be grateful and stop grumbling right?(:
maybe my route of life starts here. let it be a pleasant journey then.

okay, stupid me. these days never go out le, too busy at home imagining stupid stuffs (not 24/7 la -.-) and real life, kinda thought it for real. but now okay le. hahaha, in control(:
anyway, today went back to help out the unit. end up, due to shortage of manpower, i volunteer to come back every friday for every parade, helping out in any areas that need help. HA! two TOs cant convinced me to be a CI or to go to the CI course. heheheh(: my say still stand. hahah, i helpinng till april.(: so yea. so, not gonna work le. exercise and help out(: heh! i still wanna do my bits for the unit.
Since today is the sec1 first parade, mr tee is so generous to say : wa. first parade leh. dont let them stand under the hot sun.
i jiu flashback to my first day in np. not only we need to withstand the heat, but also the scoldings from the CIs. wa. if they keep saying npcc bo welfare. i really wanna know whats their true definition of WELFARE then. and first parade, they should respect, stand still all this. but no, fidget here and there. talk somemore. NCO infront, they dont give a damn. luckily im coming every parade. sigh. dont know them la.

okay. so im off from here. having a headache out of nowhere.
and so it "TEET" instead of "TEET TEET" and so, when it "TEET" i get the biggest shock of my life. not use to it yet :/

finally, i dont feel low le. but as one of you all. heh. lets hope i could do my best for this thing. really hope i could succeed.

With loves,
yours truly(:

Short for myself

2010-02-03T15:49:00.002+08:00

and there, amy is the name. i finalised on it. not that i dont like my name, i love it, in fact. just wanna have a short english or just a short name that is suitable for me. i use to thought of Maria. cause of my name, Siti Mariam Binte Ibrahim. Get it? Maria comes from Mariam. then, a person says, Maria? like Maria Hertogh. Eh she recently just passed away you know. Man, you know whats the feeling like? Horrible. idk why. So, i get the inspiration Amy from Siti Mariam Binte Ibrahim. yep yep. it can be Ame, or Ami or amy or amo or ams and the list goes on. but the nicer one is amy right (: come on. agree with me.! but will people start and like be doubting that im malay? -.- just because of a short name. but people, you gotta give me credit for it. for being inspired over this kind of stuff. I'm inspired by my own name okay(:
Gotta go. kinda love with what i've done with my blog(: the introduction, playlist, twitter tagboard the links. yeps. im good(:
and most importantly with what ive done with the fonts(:hope i didnt do anything wrong. heh.
With loves,
yours truly

dreams

2010-02-03T12:57:00.002+08:00

and so Good afternoon to all(: today is the earliest day of the week that i woke up early. well, early afternoon that is. currently, spending my time away in finding a suitable playlist for my blog. heh (: finally this blog gonna come to live eh? anyway, mostly the songs i found gonna be in my new phone (: which is later this month. AWW ): hahahaha.
self entertaining right? thats cool. hehs.
staying at home, lazing my ass off. with no finding job. i realise i love doing retails. like boutiques or sales clothes one. i wanna work. but what if i cant? appeal is 2 days away. i hope my dream do come true. on monday i dreamt that my mom went to little india for market. then i dreamt that my appeal is a success. ! i was overjoyed. no amount of words could explain lor. then i thought, in fear : " dreams are opposite of reality isn't it? " and i was praying hard that it wasn't true. somehow another, mom came back. i asked her where she went and she said she went to little india for usual market. and then, there was this glimpse of hope. i really hope my appeal is a success (:
and so, yesterday, i tak boleh tahan, to stay up till late night, i stayed up till 3 am only. usually 4plus, 5 or even 6. but my brain is in pain. like some migraine like tat. so off to sleep with my eye bags "remover" . dont know what it called. forgot x) and i dreamt that, the sales person says that its not effective but just help to keep the eye contour moistured only. like wtf right. what kind of salesperson is that. hahahah. from etude house somemore. haha. anyway,i was kind of naive la. the moment i woke up, i go see the mirror to see whether my eye bag has reduces or not. hahaha. but i wanna buy again(: etude house on saturday, girls? but seriously, my brain, - front part that is on the right, is in pain. i hate this ): and so, back to my dream. i dreamt that i was working in this supermrket. and i aged(!!!!) into a forty something lady. who suddenly grab the arm of this young gorgeous american man, who is in his twenties. and asked him : can i kiss you? and off we smooch. but then i tell him, what am i ? like the cougar town the girl? and we spent the time together after my interview somehow. -.- then at that point of time, i felt being a teenager, and my boyfriend, is a chinese, but not someone i know. and i went home, mom asked me why so late. and i felt that i need go back to Sg expo for my john little work. and poof~ i woke up. and so i see my eye bag no difference? haha, of course silly. my first day of putting it -.-

okay. i really running out of ideas of what to blog about. hmms, i saw him being a fan of this application. which i believe, he is who he is afterall. i dont blame anyone for the failure of the relationship. and so, i dont wish to talk about it already, anymore. and hopefully i will look and talk about another chapter of my life. life is happy if you think it is. if not, it's not. SM: Smile More (: thats what me about ma.

alright, im craving for laksa. mini competition for the campcraft team this saturday. hope there isn't any soccer match(: field already limited. imagining everything cramped together.. woa. is the word(:
shall i go for jogging later? i feel the fats within me is evoluting. lol! i miss my basketball mates. i miss my squad mates. i miss my class mates. i miss my friends. i miss my family(: Aww. siti.. hahahahaha,
alright, im running out of songs to put at my playlist. anyone else got any other suggestion? come, tag me (: recommend it alright(:

im off.

yours truly(:

as time flies..

2010-02-01T22:57:00.005+08:00

and as time flies, it has been a week of singlehood life for me. and during this 7 days, i decided to post something on first month of singlehood ; 25th feb 2010. title? requirements of a boyfriend before going into courtship. hahaha. this is to prevent myself from easily falling in love with guys i hardly knew. looks aint always the thing now. that, i just realised. but, have to count on luck too. heh. dont really know what im crapping either, but will pull some idea together by 25th feb.

anyway, i thought of some things these few days or not blogging.and something come up instantly.

differences

differences. differences of being in different religions and races from the people around us.
the differences of being boy and girl. the advantages and disadvantages in both cases. i of course will start soon, but not tonight. (: and of course i didnt go do any research to post bout this thing. but but, with my life experience of nearly 18 years. that should be good enough right? hahaha, come on. anyone wanna share their point of view too can come and tag and flood it man! (:

and of course, i met up with my baobei and mich. of course met up with baobei. accompanied her for rebonding. man, ive got lots of time on my sleeve to waste. apparently is because im not working. so any employers, wanna hire someone for 2 months, im available (: 2 months only ah. or those that have events or sales. come find me. hahahaha. and i asked them, why why why the r/s end. how they conquered every heartbreaks before. and so, baobei says, time will eventually heal everything. and that, maybe i could find a better one (or a worst one) in time to come. whereas mich said that, maybe he wont be able to get over me as fast as possible (or maybe not)cause im his first girlfri. and that i should feel honoured that im his first girlfriend. sucha waste that im not the first and only and last one. ohwell. the ()s are my opinion. and we headed to hgmall and str8 to sch for some visiting. didnt know yk will be there at a later time. cried when talk about it. and that if he wanna leave me and find someone new or old or something, thats his prob. and that ive no say in it. hahaha, cant believe im living my life. and i realises that in this month, what i wanna buy i could afford. maybe good things existed after all. maybe this is my treat for being so strong (: heh, self proclaim.! :D

gonna tidy up my room soon enough. before bro ends his NS. before the nagathon begins. hahahaha.!

really hope my appeal is a success. already plan what to buy for my school bag. yes, and its damn cheap (30$) and make me look like the studious kind of student (: heheheh! cant wait. gonna buy with dearest! (:

and somone please agree with me that the chinese drama show on channel 8, 9pm, "Happy Family", an actor who acted as Yekou Chengkang is damn handsome! myohmy! his features is damn nice. is like so perfect. not so tanned, tall, handsome... and the list goes on. and his name is JIN PEICHENG :D but no photos, cause after yahoo-ing it, i only manage to find non related photos. aww! but seriously, he can even talk Jap language which to me is fluent. hahaha, my standard is not high thats why (;

gonna change blogskin. new life, new skin?heh!i even poke open my other 2 ear holes. now with a new pair of ear stud in them(:great, just that when im sleeping on my right, it hurts damn much.):
i wonder whether am i experiencing some brain tumour early stages or what seh. my front brain is like hurting. __ so bad. hahaha, nah. im just saying. you know me, just like to spout nonsense. listen to radio and watch mtv. new songs nice(:
and ytd i didnt sleep awink till today morning (: 6plus am. and before i manage to sleep, i manage to spray insecticide on this lizard. and he fells into one of the paperbag in one of the corners in my room .heheheh. im so not gonna clear that part of the room . well, not alone! (:

contact lens, bag, new phone, new number new line and new me(:
seriously, you should just remained as it is. you should not contact me since you want to do nothing with me. i dont intend to keep it or save it. but time will tell if i change my mind. well i guess, you wont msg me anymore either. just trying to be polite right? what you were doing. heh. if i changed number without informing you, what you care right. ? hah. simple.
hahaha, im not mean, just giving that person what that person wants. hahaa.means, im kind(:
i should have read Low Kay Hwa's I believe you, sooner sia. may be my 2nd time reading it, but nearly on the verge of crying too. "In love, it's either you love or you don't" quoted from the book itself(:

well, not everyone gets what they want. having my prince charming rescuing me from this hell on a white horse is a no-no situation for me, so why pin hope on to it? in fact, change a bit. have a handsome guy rescue me from this heartbreaking mess with a simple " i love you". (: but since im single and ready to mingle, i see no harm in imagining stuff and day dreaming. (: i cant fall into sleep .maybe another late night sleep too(: oya. i woke up at 1.30pm plus plus .

maybe getting samsung jet since germaine never says anything bad bout it. or nokia 5800 (: sticking to this two(: listening to 98.7 FM. hahaha, but thru okto that is. since hp spoilt, i had difficulty listening to radio. now this channel is my companion (:friday back to school, nchs.

seriously, now i get it. now gte it why they say secondary school time and friends are better.secondary school; the time when we from kids maturing into teenagers. (: the great, bad , happy and sad times. its always this period of time that is the best(: ohmy. cant believe im growing or "ageing" so fast. uhhh! time stop please (:

oya. Jin Pei Chen.. also known as Remus Kam. 22Aug1976 (wow, 34. look like 2o++ only.. aww. my chance gone): ) same as mich's birthday right. born in malaysia, kuala lumpur.
and and and .....
and and...
and

and here he is (:

in the chinese drama show, "happy family" he look younger, with nicer hair colour and hair style (: myohmy. too bad he's born in 1976. if not i already pinned my hope on him. hahahaha. and so i said, i can daydream ma. and here i am (: he just god damn gorgeous can? born in kuala lumpur? means he and i can communicate(: hahahaha!

alright. till here. i missing my class to the very max! why? my class still the best ma(: hahaha, mdm yeo's lesson is just like another sleepy lesson, yet effective (: love every moment in 5B!(:
seriously, i mean the friendships and friends. not the relationship. cause it didnt help much either. hahaha, yea. im facing the music. its never too late anyway.;)

to you:// yes, i admit. ive never been a nice girlfriend throughout the year last year. but ive done my best when we got back together, trying to amend my ways. guess not good enough. and yes, i do miss you. miss you oh so much, my friend. but just that. as like that. but i guess we wont even catch up. so 25th jan is the last of everything i guess.? so be it then.

and so im off from blogger. wanna try changing the skin now. will update soon enough(:

Goodnight and Sweet dreams all (:

yours truly

End.

2010-01-27T16:30:00.003+08:00

the good thing bout my blog? noone viewing. i may post and save as draft as i please. ha.
the previous post. lets just simplified it into here :

the love story which started on 27th august 2008 ended on 25th january 2010.
simple. previously, i posted alot. but its best if i leave it as this.

and so the love story ended.
what a love story.
a tragic love story.

the end.

with everything i wanted to say, had said. im left with nothing to say.
just that,

i didnt know or realised i miss you this much..

ps. shall sing luozhixiang songs soon. it keeps me alive. and buy his album soon. heh! :)
cant believe i "gave him up" for a normal guy ): heh.
back to xiaozhu :)

will update once i feeling better.
to dear friends, i was posted to ite east, accounting.
but appealing to rp. i appealed le k ?(: now, just to pray hard.

Ignorance is bliss. let us continue with our own life journeys.

i never hate you. just love you. its best then.

Goodbye :)

2010-01-27T12:32:00.003+08:00

it has been a rather hectic week. can it just get any better or any worst?
posted to ite. appealing to rp. what more choice do i have? even want to go nyp food science and nutrition also cant. fck. fine then. hoping that the choice of courses i appealed to rp, is a success.

Goodbye mr. J. guess not fated.

everything is falling apart now.

how contracditing my life is. i never want to go to nyp. but now, i want it like hell. ha ha ha -.-
life is going to get better, right?

can you just be there for me, even as a friend? if not as a lover..

random thoughts

2010-01-19T18:31:00.004+08:00

im feeling happy. saturday bugis with bff for our BFF day! :D. seoul garden soon too!
work ended since the past 2 days. right now, i miss there. miss the cafe where staff would eat their lunch and dinner at. miss the jokes and laughter shared. miss my "siti ah" hhahahaa. my "twin" 22 yrs old twin. heh! :D

miss complaining bout customers, and anxious early in the morning on how the day would go etc etc.esp RJ, whenever work with her, my dad would fetch me home, and she lived nearby so send her home. is on the way ma. she kept feeling so bad. HEH! :D futhermore, she's from same sch as me. no wonder from briefing day, i talked to her, felt something. like she's someone i know, but dont know. end up same sch. and she got 5A1s leh. heh! :D

at the end of the day, i gave some colleagues my "name card". so far, none texted me. not even my 22 year old twin. D: argh. soon.. i believe :D
AWW ! mom fell sick ! D: sucks TTM. hopes mom get well soon yea?! God willing ! :D

this month, ive got things to spend on. ):
maxi eyes coloured contact lens - 56$
essential shampoo - 9.50$
essential hair mask - ??$
and i finally decided and gave up. since i cant afford samsung omnia II and jet, since its so expensive, (not that i cant afford, just cant bear to spend 400$ on A phone just like that), i decided to get a nokia 5800. i think its cheaper, i believe. hehe :D
with of course starhub plan.

so..,
a new student plan with 5800 - ???$

i never really done this before, but ive settled dearest bithday present. heh :D EARLY! :D so her's would definitely have for this year. and if she got bday party at home, i can come with no worries :D no worries of getting chased out or having our f/s off for A day :D lol. rmb dearest?
bff's not sure yet though.. X: i believe i will think of something for her :D no worries bff :D

speaking of which. i spent 100$ within 1 week. man, thats a sign of danger! D: bought 3 clothes, and tiramisu chocolate. nice! :D but sometime after eating, it makes me feel like making "tiramisu" too. hahaha! at the toilet that is :D

alright, i adjusted the html abit with my little knowlegde, and it turns out well :D
heh!

i'll officialised my blog once i got the new phone on feb 26 onwards.
new phone means photos. its such a waste but omnia II and jet seems more to not my kind.
lets hope nokia 5800 is reallly affordablee for me :D

alright im off.

you certainly make me happy when you texted me. my emotional felts of u are left as draft. one day you will be able to read it :) and i hope you could understand how i truly felt (:

yours truly

2010-01-12T11:28:00.002+08:00

it will all blown over. obsviously parents arent pleased with my results. daddy nagged. mom accepted it without anything. so just daddy not pleased. hello! im a human being here. whats more, im the one sat for the papers. i felt bad enough already, so stop adding on to it. either ite or nyp. idk. i felt like gg ite. accounting courses. if i do good enough i will be able to go to poly, with more variety of choices. but the influence of friends? hmms, thats oe hell of a problem. poly choices.. not much of a choice. not much of what i want. can i be able to catch up? or retain? whatever for? but i cleared my mt already. i can focus on other subs. but what if i dont? alot of dilemma. gonna go out in few mins time. actually now, but i haven prepare. dont even know what to wear. haven put on cosmetics. -.- wana shit also. soon enough update again. what more, deadlie is on friday. my off day.

all my friends have great results, except for me. i dont feel belong to them. not anymore. because of results. ? results aint everything right? it'll all blow over. i'll overcome this depression. just give me time..

is j really the reason why i wanna go nyp? limited choices to choose. not much of a headache is it. hahaha, carry on siti. make yourself feel better.

tears are finished. left with decisions. guide me please.

schedules

2010-01-06T13:27:00.002+08:00

Its not about how smooth your journey is, but how successful you are, at the end of the day..
wrote this in my fb page. seems like i heard it before from somewhere or something. but it just come on my mind one day. idk.
tomorrow is the start of my work at Sg Expo. hall 5, john little.house computer is on the mood swings, i guess. sometimes can switch on, sometimes cant. cant wait to get my own laptop. yep, thats right, i using 3rd sis's lappy. at home. yea.
speaking of which, kinda angry at the fact that result release on the 11th and not 12th. what difference does it make in a day.? more anxiety? everything just pushes back by a day.. ohwell. i also not the charge person. ohmy. so there goes my work. i needa go work in the morning, bring my sch u. and go to sch and back to work after result release. at least if on the 12th, its my off day. sigh, no money deducted ma. hahahaha.
yesterday accompanied zehong for him to sign contract with john little. unfortunately, hes not at the same outlet as me, but other places. but he got 2. so quite good for him la :D and at the same time ytd, i ask him to help me ask starhub n97 along with student plan how much. is 598$ T.T ohmy. there goes my dream phone. then the same for omnia II and samsung jet. samsung omnia II is 398$ or so, while samsung jet is out of stock. nvrmd. when the time comes then will know. and my digital camera is 600$ -.- all around the same price. sigh. most prob will take samsung jet. canon ixus 200is will hve to wait then );
go to City Square at farrer park ytd. ate korean food at the banquet there. not bad. destination is getting nearer and nearer when in search for korean foods. hahahaha.saw till germaine there. she working at the mini bits there. not bad ah. 1.1k$ per month.cool man :D
tomorrow needa wake up super early. dearest, 27 again :D hahahaha.
kla im off for now. hahahaha.
niece and nephew staarted schooling already. misses them lots! later fetching them with mom :D

oya. on monday morning, had a nightmare. dreamt that i argued with kG. -.-
tot its real, texted him immediately. he said nothing wrong. relieved. cause inside the dream he's kinda mean. yep.
hahahahahahhaha.

alright, just realised that once the home compy is spoilt, there goes my time with games. and yea. no games for 2 weeks max. gonna find work perhaps. again. need to. have to.

i cant even be compared to an outsider. wow. thanks leh. for being part of my life which you dont have faith and trust in. should i die while working and let my in charge of the company call you and inform you? (since i just gave your contacts for easier to contact for any emergency) will you then be convinced, oh dear one?
whatever. at least someone still believe and trust in me :D

a brand new year. a brand new life? a brand new happiness? idk. why this feeling? felt like im not ready for any. stupid uh.!~ guess time will tell soon enough.

a secret that is not longer secretive. stupid!~ tried so hard to keep it low. hahahahaha. at least not all knew.. not just yet.

the memory is getting to be vague as time passes by. i cant rmb J's face much now. ohmy. what matters is the memory contained deep in my heart. what can 2 days memory do as time passes by. nth much i guess.i realised i love J, just as a friend:D
kinda glad got that over with.

results out sooner than expected!damn worried!argh!lets hope i wont get that bad results ba D: PLEASE (:

i love the pearl bracelet and crystal ball:D (which you wont know that i love CB if i hadnt tell you earlier ;D)thankyouverymuch:D

CB stands for crystal ball k. not other things :D
gotta stop here for now. tonight early night for me without a doubt :D

loveslove!

yours truly :D

what a mess

2010-01-03T01:55:00.003+08:00

after listening to kg's blog songs, which are incredibly nice and i never heard most of it.
i decided to .... it.
and after a successful round of it, my mp3 just broke down, after some attempts. -.-
failed attempts. and it died on me. and i cant switch it on. means, no songs for now? fyou! stupid la. it cant switch on. and it doesnt belong to me, but my bro. but how?
it just died on me, when i dont know when it happens -.-
now no songs, till when sia? i gg working soon, and i need songs.. to keep me accompany. sigh. gonna pester mom to faster let me buy new phone. i dont even need a memory card for that, since the internal memory is large enough. so please, mom. if i ask , dont tell me in feb or smth.
oh God. please tell me things are alright..
that things on the right track, cause at this rate, it just seems to be off track . sigh

gonna ask mom if i could faster the day of buying the new phone.
in the morning.
after my sleep.

goodnight,once again.
no. nomore beautiful nightmare.
but,
sweet dreams.

yours truly.

wish

2010-01-03T00:37:00.002+08:00

i dont really know whether i should blog bout this or not? cause this is just my assumption.
but this assumption could just destroy a friendship that i treasure and cherish very much..
yea, just me treasure & cherish. the other party, i dont really know whats the friendship to him...

ever since 31st december 2009, ive been haunted by this feeling.. misses someone.
i miss his smile, his voice, his laughter.. almost everything about him..
and i wish upon a star, and really hope God would make my wish come true.. that i could meet him somewhere near my house, since he's already somehow or rather knew where i lived..
please. i miss him. even as a friend. i really do.

im a weakling. say it people. i easily treasure friendship just because i could get along with that person. but who knows whats its like to that person. perhaps even nothing. perhaps, he dont even remember me, what more misses me..

saying bout this. ive just come to realised. ive been fooled. lied to. friendship strained. no way back. just getting strained. and i decided on something i never thought i would be..
ive decided to let it go. if people dont treasure or cherish you the way you treasure them, whats the point, yes? you just wasting the time, space and effort. guess its best to let it be as it is. no matter how i really cant bear to let it be.. whatever man.
new year, yet i feeling so down. _|_ man.

2010 or 2009, its just doesnt make any difference anymore. yes. ive realised this, when i was still living in the shadows of last year. why are celebrating, when each year passed, its sooner to our death?-.- the irony.

came across kg's blog. found the song is nice. haha. yea, whatever song he's listening or recommend, is always nice. he's not my song updater for nothing.. well, thats what i thought he was :D now, maybe still. through his blog? haha. we hardly chat already 0: ohmy. what can i do? time just catches up with everyone..

God please make my wish come true..
God please answer my prayer..
Let him come home safely tomorrow night.. i'll be waiting..
ive waited, and i'll be waiting still (:
imissyou..

i miss luqman.. , zhipeng, and, j
&of course, many others (:

gotta go. bball tmr. really looking forward to it, cause previous session is damn fun, esp the ending part. where it starts to drizzle and we still carried on(:

goodnight.
have a beautiful nightmare, y'all (:

Yours truly.

workaye workaye workaye! :D

2010-01-02T00:05:00.005+08:00

happy new year everyone ! :D sorry for not replying texts or smsing anyone. ive got limited on the smses. actually before this i wanted or already one quarter through posting bout my 2 days work on the simei ite uniform sales. but i guess the way i post it is too... personal.
so i just gonna summarised it. like how the job is to me.
first day; 30th december 2009
kinda unexpected. fun, happy, get to talk to quite a number of people, and make new friends. yes, i also got to talk to chuankiat. haha. after so long, yep. haha
its tiring, no doubt. cause i was running here and there. but its enjoyable. the enjoyable part just erases the feeling of tiredness and replaces it with happiness.
there's this group of guys that playing with the trolley.hahaa, but seeing them play makes me wanna play too. hahaha. funny! :D
waslooking forward to the 2nd and last day of work. but not really cause thats like the last and only time, i get to interact with the great people there D:
2nd day; 31st december 2009
i was self high. hahaha. talked to my partner, j. haha. asked him whether is he doing the same as he did the day before. and he yeah. was kinda happy. hahaha. i joked around with chuankiat. he was like, why she self high. ahahaha. i kept kidding around saying he's my boyfriend, cause we were like wearing the same colour of clothing for both days. i used dearest's specs and sit beside him and say we were couple. hahahaha :D just kidding :D
but it pleases my heart to see people smile at my silliest joke or self high.
2nd day was kinda better. lesser people. was assigned to do measurements with j by boss.
we both kinda get along and talked abit more on the 2nd day. haha. when doing measurements that time, after a while only. we both say we wanna do the runner job. no, we preferred doing that. or we rather do that. hahaha. so after that while, we see the queue and assume its long, whereas its considered short if compared to the day before. so we rushed there. ahaha. then the day was saved by us! hahahaha :D within awhile we settled what should have been settled. hahaha.. around 12plus, we packed up. thats when tiredness from the day before and that day combined. i didnt talk to anyone much till i felt slightly better :D guess what, i didnt talk to my partner either. neither does he D: he was playing with his trolleys. hahaha.
so we headed out from there when we knew we couldnt get the pay that day and not in cash. wen let me to let my pay being sent tgt with her's in her account since idk whats mine account number is. as we headed out, thats the last time i saw and talked with my workmates. since then ive been hunt by missing them D:
headed to ps to watch alvin and the chipmunks2. due to eve of public hols, you should have
seen the crowds. it was crowded that we headed to the Cathay, which too is kinda crowded.
wen bought the tix. accompanied her to LJS. after awhile, shuting came! :D after so long of not talking to her, finally we talked! :D am glad things are not as bad as i thought they would be! :D hahahaha.we joked around. joking bout shuting having the popcorns for dinner and supper. hahaha.
spent my eve with dearest. actually we otw home. when suddenly we kept on talking and talking in the interchange. so i suggested on sitting down beside mrt there. saw till quite a number of schoolmates and classmates that make me kinda hyper. and we kept on talking till 9plus before heading to coldstorage to buy stuffs and headed home after that,
and i was struck by idk what that kept me missing my workmates, esp my partner D:
so i imagined weird stuffs before heading to sleep. and today, i just realises that, perhaps i think too much. they perhaps might not even miss us, cause they dont think the exact same way we did. so the feeling kinda decrease. and i believe as times flies, it will decrease till nothing. am glad that i get to work with them :D
luqman, j, yc, seetoh whom i once thought the name is sito. hahahaha. kak za, kak ida, chuankiat, and many others whom i smiled and joked with, thankyou for making my first working experience a memorable one. though is short, and i hate it cause its short, thankyou for putting up with me. pardon me for my way of talking if it ever offenses any one of you. i knew noone goona read this, except for dearest. but time will tell. and im sorry. hahaha. guess the emo side of me is coming, but i preferred the happy side of me. the one when i work. is so happy and cheerful. :D and im gona keep it that way:D

of course, theres more. but its personal.like me with this guy i named him R, cause i asked him to take over my runner job for awhile.hahaha.. anw, shared it with dearest already. so sorry to disturb you with my stupid thoughts D:
its just too personal to share. hahaa. wanna know the rest?
its FOR ME TO know and FOR ME TO keep :D

since its new year, my new year resolution will be, discovering myself more. overcome the fear, smile more :D hahahaha. many more to come too. soon.
i discover that i easily like a person if once we can get along fine. -.- i cant differentiate between like and love. -.-
yea. gona be till here. needa slp. going cct. for sure :D
the job is fun no doubt. partnering by coincidence with j, teaches me to catch what he says in chinese faster. hahaha. sometimes i just dont get it at first, but after digesting it, i understood clearly. dk why, he just talk to me in chinese, the way friends do. just faster. hahaha.

dearest, i knew you lied to me when you said your fine. i knew you werent . cause how can you be, when my heart sank deep when you told me?it could be just friends, or like what you said. but its okay isnt it? its just isnt your right time yet. :D so keep on that smile on your face, and ignore the negative feeling. its a brand new year. a brand new way of looking at life too :Djust let it go like i did and i believe everything will be fine, one day. dont think too much and it may just happen to the way we want it to be :D
iloveyou dearest, no matter whatever it is :D

ima gonna keep on smiling, till kg gonna have 2 new words to describe me. hahahaha :D
lets be new, shall we?

last but not least, anyone who must have thought or may have thought that i was stupid enough to do the runner job than the measurement job, you guys are wrong! to me its enjoyable to do the job. its just how you sees it. plus, workingwith great bunch of people, of course i would enjoy to the maximum, regardless of the tiredness.

goodnight.

yours truly.

p/s : workmates. any workmates who knew me or pass by my blog. tag, and link me. but i knew there wont be much cause noone knew my email add. D:i forgot to ask D: ugh.

SGIdol

2009-12-28T18:51:00.002+08:00

oya, Sezairi won the idol. I knew it :D hahahaha. when he sings, i just melt :D hahaha. Sylvia not bad too~ her voice kinda deep. nice. when she sings mercy, i love the song :D

bored bored bored

2009-12-28T17:48:00.002+08:00

obviously, its has been a boring day. every outlet i went for interview or so they just wont entertain or hire me. why dont you people hire a great person like me in your company? stupid - hahahaha. alright, let me type what i should have before getting carried away.
first and foremost, merry christmas everyone!i know it is belated already. anyway! i hardly has any saving and yet to complete my christmas gift shopping. guess has the idea, but not the money.
9DEC - happy 17th birthday cheng zehong.
15DEC - happy 3rd year anniversary, BFF :D
21DEC - happy 17th birthday Beatrice.
22DEC - happy 17th birthday yongkiong! :D yes, i haven forgotten.
25DEC- happy 2 years anniversary dearest cum dumbass! :D

birthdays.. sorry i didnt wish. i did thought of it throughout the whole that that day is whose birthday. at least i didnt forget right?hahaha
wet to have a short hat witkg.. hahaha, for the first time in my life, i found what i type kinda hilarious. i said something like, guess what? ive been lazing my ass off at home these hols, cause noone want to hire a fantastic person like me! stupid right?hahaha.
alright. -.- then tat fantastic mr loh said, cause they are afraid of you right?lol.
then the fantastic me said, what? my smiles? hahahaha.
then before all these, he said juncheng became the icon of the ch or smth,cause everywhere he goes or smth, its jc he sees. hahaha, i got my reason for putting that pic, and now i cant change it cause my comp spoilt and now i using my sis's lappy instead. there's some restriction so, yea.
anyway, i wentfor swimming ytd! wow. only at the baby pool, cause i went with my bro, his gf niece and nephew. hahaha. i gt a swimwear! so anyone want to go?i dont mind. i decided already. if i cant get any job any sooner, i gonna do exercises instead. swimming, bball or badminton.by myself by all means, i dont want to gain weight.
so yea. what boring hols. now i understand why they said so. i always thought hols are fun. yea, its fun if your schedule is packed. -.-
hire me someone. i'll make a great worker! i promise :D

alright, that sound pathetic. whatever __
ahahahahaha. i wan to chnage my blogskin. find my current one is dull and boring although i love the tagboard and everything la. i used to loved it, but i gotta make it interesting. before you know it, who knows i gonna do up some counters and try to be the most exciting blogger in sg. yea right. -.- but no harm dreaming right?hahaha.who knows i can just do it..hahahaha.
soon if i can use this lappy again, i gonna blog bout 2009. what it is to me.
i guess this year, ive tainted my well image of myself to others. thats why this is happening.
i gonna socialise and be a better me. anger aside, gonna control it :D

ohmy! John Little finally called me when i gave up on that glimpse of hope! :D hahahaha cause she said she will call me by the end of last week. and ytd is the end of last week, so.. yea. hahahaha. and my phone is left wit one last battery cause i lazy to charge it ! and and i tot its a message but call. and its unknown number, and usually i dont answer, so what the heck. just aswer it! :D ahahaha and i got the work! as fitting room attendant at john little at sg expo. hope zehong too got the job.. it will be great to have a friend there working tgt. furthermore is he intro me the job. and he's away in beijing. so hope she would call him still.. hahah :D
okay, i forget wad time alrdy. is it 230 or 3pm?-.- nvrmd i be there at 2 pm. or 215pm.haha or is it 130pm?ohmy .
stupid nervous attack. __
help me....

im outta here.

yours truly..

2009-12-19T01:54:00.002+08:00

i grew tired already.
Help me someone please?

♥random

2009-12-12T23:56:00.002+08:00

zachary efron 18 october 1987..
Recently, i was sort of attracted to zac efron.. :D you can keep playing HSM3:senior Year over and over again, and i wont get tired of it, i promise:D
haha. i just cant get enough of zac efron. in fact, i was like learning the way he played bball, just so i could improve on my bball skills :D
idk why or what is happening lately, but f/s seems strained. dk. tmr gg out with liqi&wen.
i felt so useless. i wanna change to someone good or better. but that wont be me will it?
hols are superb boring. i decided to bball myself if i cant find a job soon enough. yes, its already the mid of dec. i NEED A FRIGGIN job! unless this year Santa is kind enough to present me a Sony Vaio laptop, then i shut my mouth up :D
okay. this computer nearly died cause idk whatever the reasons are. it scared the shit outta me.
plus nearly killed me of boredom. Computer , you had your fun of scaring me. so now, stop it ! :D cause i cant afford to lose you till i get my own lappy :D so, live on for me :D
alright. i felt ridiculous talking like that -.- but if its helping why not :D

obviously, i was bored to death, before knowing this computer is alive:D so i went on and read today newspaper :D you dont know how hardworking i had become on reading the papers :D recently that is :D and as i was browsing through the papers, something caught my attention.

Twilight haters

and after reading all their comments, i find it kinda illogical. Twilight saga is a fiction story no? Its where our imagination comes to live. where Stephenie Meyer imagination comes to live. And its where illogical stuffs become logical. i find it kinda weird that people have to hate twilight. true that people have their own preferences, and i dont really find myself a huge fan of twilight saga either ( cause at one point, as i was re-watching twilight, i find it ridiculous the way the vampire speed and strength are), but why go to this extend of going to the papers and saying such stuffs bout twilight? why cant just keep your own thoughts to yourself. just read and watch it. dont like it, keep quiet, shut the tv off or something. noone really force you to like. its just the majority like the show/novel. let your imaginations run wild. thats what fic are for, no? they said they had nothing against Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen), but why are they tearing away posters of him in Twilight or newmoon? Ridiculous. dont like it, dont buy it. matter of factly, you are saving money and letting others who wants it to keep it, instead of tearing it into pieces. Hello? Why cant save the Earth. just toss it into Recycle Bin or something, if you must. -.-

I can carry on more, but i just too lazy to elaborate. i just find it ridiculous that they had to appear on newspaper. very ...
to me, in my opinion, twilight saga, when i read it, its where my mind gets imagination. imagining stuffs that were written. its interesting rather than the way they said it in the papers. they should try it, or better still, dont bother. spare them, since they hate it -.-

alright im off.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

i hope the issue between us is solving.. in need of answer.. in need of truth .. ♥

Sick

2009-12-02T23:51:00.002+08:00

damn sick. and i believe its the first stage only. =.=
i believe there's still cough and high fever going on.. but if i could control it, it wont be happening :D

job hunting still. stupid la. i want job. hire me please :D
Dont keep asking for chinese or experienced leh.. all i want is part time.
and dont tell me height is a problem too! D:

Throat hurts, cant even taste mom's cooking! Dx. im off. cant carry on any longer !

Oh. wow. what a beautiful necklace :D

6 more mins and Twilight Saga: New Moon is out in the Cinemas!!!
i wanna watch it tomorrow! but i cant D:

STUPID!

Everyone is sick -.- even mom D: TAKE CARE ANYONE!!!

yours truly..

2009-11-28T16:45:00.003+08:00

Phrases or song sentences i find interesting ;)
this one i not sure cause i tried to find it back from Breaking Dawn book, but not sure where. It seem to be running away from me as i flipped every paged.. :l
- One infinite moment of pain..
- i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene..
Lol. so far only that :D Lazy to listen.. Off to play my bejeweled blitz. NO MORE AUDITION :D

No more commitment, no more heartbreaks, no more lies to deal with anymore.. I missed the feeling of loving someone, guess just gotta get used to it.. All i want now, is that the person would hire me.. Im waiting.. God willing :)

ilovemyfamily(:
ilovewongliqi
ilovelimmuihwee
ilovekennychongdewei
ilovejoelynngxueting
ilovenicholasseahyongteck
ilovelohkianguan
ilovemrrahim,mrneo,mdmyeoaipeng,mdmrohayah,mdmsalina,
mrerickoh,mrahgohgoh,misschin,mrsrowenafoo,
&manymany more of my beloved teachers(:
imissedmyCCTscammers

i just missed everything that i put at risked for the r/s..
this is just so random. Lets just forget the bitter past, and welcome the brand new future:)
Work, hire me quick. I need the work.. Time is flying, and no calls yet from the person.. I want the work. I promise i put in my utmost best behaviour and effort into it:D Can count on my words le la (:
Im punctual&stuff already (: Lol.
I just missed something that is missing from my life..
Just cant figure it out what is it..

Help?

Yours truly..
Im truly innocent, why do i get crushed like this?
"The thing bout crushes is that you get crushed " - Ben10

For now i gave up on love. I loses the faith and trust in you. It has always been a facade for you all this while.. I should have known better..

Goodbye..

i think i gonna draw random figures on my sketchbook.. Gonna buy a digi cam already if i get work and first pay.. PLEASE CALL ME.. i need the work, Priscilla :D

New

2009-11-28T14:50:00.002+08:00

I was so emotionally disturbed early this morning.
Slept at 4 plus am in the morning, just could not fall asleep..
Thus, got headache when wake up around 7am.
didn't make it to CCT training *sorry!
Family issues. O f course, i found it unfair towards mom.
there's only 1 at fault, why pull her in?
Anyway, woke up at 1115am. And was quite lazy to accompanied mom to CP. However, i knew she need some time, some fresh air from home,
so as a filial daughter(as always :D) i accompanied her.
Bought lunch for family. Today i was short tempered. -.-

Anyway, I felt s slight guilt after posting that.. But felt better after posting.. I did post it, but did not want to offend till anyone.. So save it under draft.. Now, my guilt has gone :D
Glad that noone actually did managed to come and read it..
I'm not an evil person, FYI.:D
I just cant sit still when there's isnt any justice being served, thus i vent my thoughts and feelings..
Believe me when i said this, i did throw in a very good expression of words :D
To my ~~lovelyexboy~~friend,:
Thanks for the 50$. idk why you ignore me. But nothing matters already since i already say what i wanna say. Perhaps i will post that entry when you really no longer matter to me..
Alright, i felt like playing bball. Alone? Tomorrow outing how?
Nothing has been confirmed yet. Idk whether its the phone fault when i cant get through you? But its impossible cause i can get through to anyone, but you. Guess God just wanna tell me how insignificant i am to you now..

Update soon enough..
Yours truly...

Short, likeme :D

2009-11-26T12:23:00.002+08:00

Alright, at liqi house now :D Accompanied her to Dhoby Ghaut just now. Come out of mrt, yoshinoya worker argued with an indian lady. As an outsider, i think is the yoshinoya worker's fault. cause, yea. will elaborate later. Guess wad? Not trying to be a racist or country-ist or anything, is a China worker .. She diao me in train. F her,seriously.

Anyway, short one. You came to report me when something is wrong. If not, you mia for one whole day. No smses, no calls. Seriously, had enough. I dont want to feel like having hopes up again when you text me. Deleted all your messages. So yea. For now, thats that..

Saw my uncle just now!! on the way home! He looked so hip! LOL. he wore sunglasses.. :D First time saw him like tat.:D

Alright, i better stop. If not too draggy will cause liqi late on her first day on work.. LOL.
BFF, ALL THE BEST!

To everyone! : I begin to punctual liao horr!! Just now also i come first than liqi though is later than 9am :D YES ! In the morning. And first time accompanied her till afternoon:D
She accompanied me ytd too for my job interview. First time met at 5pm plus :D Will update more, later when i at home! :D

Love LOVE :D

Yours truly..

Tryout

2009-11-24T23:13:00.003+08:00

Perhaps,
This few weeks, Im gonna be someone im not?
Okay, not someone i not,
But to discover more things bout me..myself..
Guess,
This is a challenge ive to uphold (:
Well, why not? No harm done (:
Well, Wish me a lot of luck,
I'll be needing it more than ever :)

Yours truly..

2009-11-24T23:03:00.004+08:00

I think i maybe,
falling for you:)
Love,
An indescribable feeling to describe about..
You ran in my mind almost every moment,
Though i dont appear in your's..
Th little 'collision' we had,
Was memorable to me,
If not to you;D
I hope we could talk,
and not in silence..
Guess, first move again?

I maybe falling for you too..
Gone for few weeks,
And noone there..
of all pictures, ours were not there..
Lol.. However, i believe we could take more,
If you allow,
If Fate allows :)

Idk why i rather fall in love with people i know,
or i seen before or noticed before,
Than knowing thru online..
Maybe, we have closer bond,
Or better knowledge of one another..
After that one incident,
Of being in a relationship that i knew online,
A lesson was learnt..
And since then, i feared the same thing would happen again..
Thus, Chinese guys, Korean guys, Japanese guys,
Are my type of guys..
Malays too, the good ones :)
Mixed blood too, cause im also a mixed ;D

Last but not least,
I am who i am,
Love me for me,
not for what i am..

You dont love a girl because she is beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her (:
This same applies to me, okay?(:

Time would reveal soon enough, i suppose.. (:

Yours truly..

Me

2009-11-24T22:51:00.003+08:00

Im just trying to get out of my comfort zone, to be comfortable in my surrounding..
Talking with someone you never did before, seems nice.
Ignoring the one who you used to talk to often, seems a good change.
I will update more, tomorrow or so.. Bout today. Just damn pissed bout McDonald's service.
Happy with what i saw, till the extend of intending to stalk D (:
Poor niece down with cough and slight fever D:
Gonna record HSM3 on scv soon enough, on 5th Dec that is..
Luckily didnt watch it last year. Lol.
Alright, im off.

My heart is reserved for you to claim, will you mister? :D
Single, and unavailable.
I need a job. Don't disappoint me, employers :) Lol.

yours truly..

2009-11-23T01:19:00.002+08:00

So i'm gonna say this,
once and for all,
Ignorance is Bliss
afterall :D
cause words are just words,
and
Action speaks louder than words..
so there ain't no biggie in getting paranoid,
or angry,
cause i know, i can do better :D
Since, i already know,
Whats the person is like...
Twilight in the morning..<3
And new moon on 3rd Dec. Hope so:D

nighties to all,
and of course,
sweet dreams

Yours Truly..

Things to summarised..

About Bff post, aint gonna further elaborate. Cause its personal, and i dont like elaborating it on blog. already deal with it too..
Moving on seems so much a better choice, i guess.Ha.
CCT is my next priority, as much as how hard it seems to be.. i will try my utmost best to do it, for good impression and someone's sake.
I sorta am glad that im in npcc and that it dont have the same rules like ncc, if not i would alrdy been sent to CI course.. But thats how leaders are born,no? Nevermind, i will elaborate myself better later, after my rest:D
Flu seems to be better already :D
Sleepy, and off from comp:D
Goodnight and sleep tight, everyone:D
Yours truly, once again:D

Short one

2009-11-23T00:37:00.002+08:00

Really gonna post a short one here! :D
First thing first, prom's night over :D or D:
haha. gonna give credits to beloved 2nd sis, for taking off from her work specially for me.
She do my make up and stuffs. :D love herr!! :D
She could really be a make up artist:D

Seriously, am so sick of some stuff.. Oh, guess what? I knew what it was.
Really.. Not gonna bother already.

Down with flu yesterday. Aww. Yep, but thats reality. Since when diseases are avoidable?Lol.
Had a fun chat with kuanyew.(: Yep. he&co gonna head to ncc course for 3 weeks straight.., in few hours time..
=/ Ohwell, really hope they have fun :D

Gonna change myself for the better.. For someone, who deserve it :D
i know i kept repeating, but thats the truth right there. When the time comes, i hope it would be good:D
Hoping that Fate has what i want or interests me:D Just a matter of time..

Alright, thats that for now. Off from comp, and more to Breaking Dawn:D

Yours truly..

Last sentence of the day:
You arsehole!

Home

2009-11-17T21:41:00.005+08:00

Stayed home all day. Apparently, so bored and tired. Yesterday, accompanied BFF for her recruitment agency interview. Haha. I was more nervous and anxious than her. I didn't come late, yesterday! Haha.
After that, we went VivoCity for lunch at the banquet there. Man, damn nice, for the western food. Oh! i craving for the soup now!! haha. we of course had our bff session:) Oh. we saw yongkiong, elmond and kenneth at dhoby ghaut there :D
First time, we headed home early. Due to me. I assist mom in fetching niece from school.
Aww, God didn't really answer my prayer, for the baby to be safe in sister's womb. The foetus was too weak that it cant be detected. That's why i didnt blog bout it nor told anyone. Only family knew. Sigh. Perhaps, God love it more than us :)
I hope God answer my prayers in keeping my piggy safe at pulau ubin..
Today nothing much. Weather has been good for sleeping. It was sunny, when suddenly raining cats and dogs. Today stayed home and eat and sleep and eat and surfed the internet.
Early in the morning, was awoken by mom.
Mom: SITI!! WAKE UP!!
SM: Huh? What thing ? what thing?
Mom: You want egg sandwich not? Wake up!
SM: Aiya. Mom ah. you make suspense only . zz
and i woke up. Haha. Then eat the sandwich and went back to sleep. woke up by mom, cause she cooked light lunch for me. after which i went to use the comp. haha. till now. Yep. facebook, tagged and audition. the most that used up my time is the extraction for the abm of audition . zz
Anw, i hope piggy alright at Pulau Ubin. i hope the rain is a good sign, in another way. Rain heavily, not much activity. So stayed indoor. I dont want anything to happen to him. Remember piggy, your words. Piggy didnt sms me before going. End up i smsed him, but no replies. Am worried. Though just Pulau Ubin and not overseas, and he's a man, but ~~anything can happen~~ I love my piggy:D Too much, i swear.
Piggy, piggy, piggy.. I missing you here, you know? :D Really hope your alright. Cant wait to see you back on Thurs. Oya. My IC with my piggy.! ZZ. not feeling so secured, now that my IC not with me.
God, please keep him safe.
I will decide when things are where they are. I will decide when he's back. Safely.
I want us be together, forever. Really. I still do love you. But why must you did it? It shattered the trust, the bond between us, no? Why must it always be the same problem? For now, piggy, i love you, deeply, truely. Cant wait to see you in your prom attire:D love love!

Prom night coming. idk what to do with my hair and face. I alrdy dyed my hair. should i cut or trim it? I NEED TREATMENT!!
This week so packed. Tomorrow may be going out with neighbour, D and Bff. Thurs, out with bro's girlf. Friday, PROM. Saturday, Mly farewell party and cct training. Sunday, find work or smth?

Alright. im off. Gonna do Resume i think. HAHA. D, I know how to write resume, now left with doing..
R E S U M E :D

Yours Truly..

2009-11-14T00:52:00.003+08:00

HAPPY KINDNESS DAY, EVERYONE!
:D
(okay. i know this is late by few hours. zzz. SORRY.. )

sudden turn of events..

2009-11-13T22:42:00.006+08:00

Im gonna blog bout it, though there aint any reader.. HA. idc at all.
anyway. missing my D and BFF.. they are at the chalet.. tuition chalet..
oh well. anw, saw till jaslin&co. just now at CP. then saw till BFF and D. k, this is what i call FATE:D cause if i hasnt chose to go cp, if they had not come at the right timing, we wont be meeting le, right? So, the BFFs get to see the new hair each other. LOL. alright, enough bout today for now. lets proceed bout 12th Nov 2009.

12th Nov 2009
it started out with a surprise. not from me. though i had planned to fetch him and give him surprises - fetch him, and the way i dress. HAHA. but he went out already, and waited for me instead.
he saw me, he's happy. it started out with a hug. didnt immediately went to compass. we talked, talked real long. unfortunately, we didnt talk all things out.. so i hugged him. even when he wanted to look at me, i still hug him. tears were on verge of falling, but i hold them back, cause i didnt want any tears on that day, so we took pictures before heading off to vivocity. both of us were so happy. just too happy. im happy the way i dressed, i looked, my hair looked, the one i was being with. simply said, i was happy with everything on 12th nov 2009. it is seems that we are gonna have a happy day.
we watched jennifer's body. despite how matured i try to dress or just dress without in sch u or anything, i guess height is still the problem . they still checked our ICs. even before entering. ohwell.
the movie was so-so. 3 out of 5, i would say. he more scared then me i suppose. haha. kinda amazing. i could expect the sorta outcome next, so not really scared. it all depends on the background sounds. the show was average, but the starting was unique to me. started with a flashback. haha. it perhaps would have been great if it was my first nc16 movie, ba? haha. anw, we headed to plaza sing next, cause apparently, we didnt buy anything from vivo. thinking that we gonna eat at Swensen, we thought of heading to plaza sing awhile, buy some stuffs, head back sk for sunset and Swensen for dinner. saw serene there. next thing i know, received a text from her, congrating us for patching back. -.- we didnt . so far for now, wont be. just like he said, best friends. best friends when only, it just the two of us. of course he cant be compared to my bff, he perhaps, the second. bff is always the first. and undeniably, family comes first.
bought a lip gloss from Etude house. bought something and have a fluffy pen for free. we agreed to 50-50 the cost. unexpectedly, we argued. and i dare say this time its not my fault. really am fucked up. i cried my eyes out. really am tired. after a long time, he apologised. he said : i finally know what i want. is you. but i just need time.
we both agreed that we both need time. ya. i'll be waiting then. waiting for his answer. return his necklace and ring back. nv intend to return anything to him, but just realised that, the more i kept it, the more i will think of him. the past one month i thought of him almost everyday. does he? he seemed move on. i guess when someone already moving on, i should not held that person back,cause i end up hurt cause the person is determined to move on.
we didnt wanna talk bout it anymore . but till today, 13th nov, i still ponder on the cause of the arguement on a simple date. it has always been the issue even when we were together. he bought for me the Essential shampoo and conditioner. 550ml one. both. i bought the treatment and a sunsilk lotion for hair. kinda useful i guess. he fulfilled his promises. breaking dawn and shampoo(: love him. atleast some promises he uphold them.. headed home. otw, i got leg cramp. now i having left hand cramp. wtf. haha. guess its the weather. cold weather. on the bus we took pictures. haha. the flash was on, and my face look white. didnt expect it though. haha. yep, the pictures were better when theres flash, like seriously.
at the void deck, i couldnt bear to let go. dont ask me why though. i just kept hugging him, cause i dont want to let go. well, didnt want. yes, we kissed. perhaps the last. he promised me smth. promised to msg me. end up there's only 2 msgs from him today. and is at night . and is only when i msged him first. wow.
Another promise made, Another broken promise. i knew it was coming.
im confused now. really am. i put aside the thought of body builder from my mind, my heart. cause he dont felt the same to me, even if i say i love him. but us? you got me all confused up. i suppose so. if its a game, lets play. i dont wanna deceive anyone. but if i am, i'll be deceiving myself first.
its a lovegame.
now, iloveyou. do you?
i really wished its just like the beginning of 12th nov 2009. when you surprised me by a hug.
i will upload the pictures, when i received my thumbdrive back from him.
yes, hes the one who is the most sweetest to me, of all my boyf. and yet the most deepest wound. Ever.
i've received my breaking dawn. due to long time nv read, i read the last chapter of Eclipse to catch up. now im at chapter 2 of breaking dawn.
wanted to play audition, but no mood. anyway, today headed down to little india, with mom and nephew. i ate thosai masala and apple aloevera for drink. my mom ate paper thosai and tea. end up, i didnt finish it. guess no appetite. lately i hasnt had a good appetite.. hmms.
okay. now i guess im off from here.

i used to lookforward to 12th nov 09. and time flies, as the date approaches, i just wanna get it done and over with. but now, im somehow glad we went through it. im glad that i went out with you. cause perhaps it will be the last ba. perhaps.. perhaps, perhaps..
am surprised that a friend of mine gave such approval. wow. JEALOUS -- ha ha ha.
am busy. tomorrow i gg to sch for open house, alone. cause bff and d are at chalet. oh well. haha.
sunday, bball session with my beloved 5th batch:D
monday gg out with BFF! Starbucks!! haha. but but but, this time round, my belongings with me:D
16th - 19th nov , you gonna be away. for camp. worried, but i do hope you will have fun. i do love you. take care, hao pengyou. wo de airen, wo de nan ren.
so far, yet so close. by heart. it wont last, but let it be for now.

this is my heartfelt post. no offence to anyone, esp you, piggy. :D loveyou. in all sort of ways...

tired. gonna continue reading my breaking dawn. the interest is rising again.. ;)
goodnight and goodbye to all
#0048hrs.

Love Justify Happiness..
(in my opinion that is...)

Yours truly...

freedom

2009-11-11T23:31:00.002+08:00

yes, you can know it by reading the title.. O levels are finally over! FINALLY!
come on now! congrats me congrats me !! lol.
im sure am glad la. went to download audition immediately. man, my skills are sucky now.! haha. seriously. my beatup skills is = p.a.t.h.e.t.i.c haha.
anyway, as time passed, plans changes, dont they? so do people right?haha
Yep.. So yesterday night, i asked myself.. not literally though..
12th November 2009 is coming..
Am i looking forward to it or just wanna get it done and over with?
Well, comments are welcome. I will give my answer after 12th Nov 2009 itself.

gonna dye hair.. FINALLY ! haha. in few hours to come..
i bought a cheap dress for tomorrow.. this is what happen when didnt check properly. ( hey its 80% off! but from alano.. ohwell then.. :) )
Mom pointed out, and i was sorta regret la. zz . but it wont be that obvious ba.. Hmms.

As i stated in my FB, 11th Nov 2009 is A GOOD DAY!!! haha, those who were with me throughout the whole afternoon, definitely know why . lol. Shhs!!(:

Nope. he didnt met me today. went back on what he said. nt really disappointed, kinda expected. kinda immune le ba. hhms. but still, man should mean what they say dont they? Ha. if tomorrow you lastmin cancel, i would go out with my D instead luh!
if it weren't for my reaction a month ago.. , anyway, i still wanna go out with you, afterall i already plan so.

let today be fate not pure coincidence, please? But my guts says : PURE COINCIDENCE.. sigh. by all means then:D so long i enjoy the day can already lo! haha
finding work directly after Prom night.. Man. . kinda scared at the thought of it, but the thought of buying BFF's stuffs and spurlging on mom, just motivates me more!HA!

so damn paiseh sia. lol. i so called scold my D, cause bff said that she wanna beat ppl.. LOL.
SMBI: you wanna beat, beat la!
D: what la?!
SMBI: wanna beat , beat la. think you tall, big deal ah?
LOL. so funny la.
and when we were in Montip, my ducky boyfriend said something funny in chi, but i translate it in eng.
DBF: i wanna dye at salon.
*D, bff and me, bursts into laughter* DBF dont even know why lor.. we explained also she like abit slow.. lol. cause when she said "dye" it sounded exactly like "die". so we said, why wanna die at salon? dont leh, later will make the whole shop go bankrupt. LOL. so cute la she..
oya. i met till Aimei outside sch just nw. i rename her to "tanner" now.. LOL. she used to be fairer than me leh, now AMAZINGLY i fairer than her!! haha.
then i said, you second mr krishnan ah? cause when she smiled, is like her teeth damn white.. aiya. nvrmd. difficult to explain..
oya. she also shared one joke or two.. " what is softer than sponge?" give up?
ans: *whisper*" sponge" LOL
i cant stop laughing lor!!!!
kla. till here then. .. goodnight readers, im off from here!(:

ive a feeling.. you rather we cancelled tomorrow.. is it so then my friend?it seems you wont be enjoying, cause it just another facade for you? Hms. i shall comment bout this after 12th nov ba.
all harsh or non harsh will come out.. HA.

today like so lucky, got see till until alot alot of handsome guys.. yep, you are one of them(:

its been awhile since i last felt like this.. hmms.. SHY!:B
(L)11th november 2009(:

yours truly..

226th post

2009-11-05T14:22:00.002+08:00

Things wont be the same anymore. Why can't you just admit it and save me from all this?
Every time you said a sentence, it doesn't seem true after some time.
You wanna please me, but you're lying to yourself over and over again. Why?
I will know the answer on 11th nov. no matter what, on 12th we will just enjoy our day.
Even if it just gonna be a facade for you again. I'm gonna enjoy myself.. Cause on that day, i'm gonna be sincere in everything i do for you.., on that day..

Yours Truly..

disappointed

2009-11-02T19:52:00.002+08:00

ive really no mood to blog bout anything right now. but just have the urge to..
social studies, i could really just kiss goodbye to it. iraq and kuwait wasnt anticipated.. and i did studied globalisation.. just that the points i gave is really short form.. as in summarised.. no grandfather's story ma. sigh. for chemistry too. i did studied.. idk, i hope i did okay for both. i know i did disappoint the teachers thats why i felt disappointed too. well. no point crying over spilled milk. time to buck up for others.

i really wonder whether people know me for me, or just judge me the way i say things.. hmms.
i really wonder whether they know what im thinking.. haha. stupid and silly, but i dont give a damn(:

as time flies,
its getting clearer and clearer..
the decision is a wise choice..
afterall..
perhaps one day,
you could say what you really want to say..
perhaps. you would forget totally bout me one day..
wo zhen de ai ni..

it seems ive let myself down, more than ive let others..
ive got a new competitor. bring it on !

yours truly..

happy bday (:

2009-10-24T00:06:00.002+08:00

Happy 19th birthday,
kianguan(:
happy happy !HAHA
yep. i waited for the clock to strike 12am,
just to post this.. LOL
(:

2009-10-23T23:20:00.002+08:00

A and B were a couple for one year. So immersely in love with one another.
One year later, broke up. B sudden change caught A by surprise.
A dont like the way B change..
If they were ever going to be together again,
will it ever be same again? or just get worse?
Could the love they once had, returned to their side, to their heart?

Mom was so worried bout me, after i cried infront of her. Sigh. shouldnt have.
First time, i ever confided in her. Never anymore. Not wanna her to be worried bout me. Guess i get my paranoia from her.. LOL! She is paranoid sometimes..

Oya. Jasper tried to scare me as we walked down the staircase after Mr Koh's night study.. (i was scared till la) But after that, he said he dont know who he scaring.. LOL. Weiliang still know lor. he know is me(: HA.

Dont know why the pieces are still breaking when it's already is broken.It'll never end sia like this. I believe Your words. i trust you still. let's hope, after Os, things will turned around. Lets hope, what you said still applicable. iloveyou.

goodnight and goodbye:)
yours truly.

Ending point

2009-10-23T21:39:00.002+08:00

I'm back into green people!(: Heh. Don't start to be curious of why i suddenly privatise my blog. Although i do know and realised that noone has been visiting.. HAHA!
Nope. There are no one in particular or anything in particular that i'm trying to hide. HA. how long can it be hidden? cause im un-privatizing it anyway also!lol.
Dont really know why i suddenly have this hyper way of blogging. seems weird to me too. like a brand new world. maybe its just a front, a cover. went to a blog i long never been to. yes, it's finally updated. not a friend, im just blog hopping. HEH.
realised that what the person went through and typed are exactly the same as mine? just that the words are more profound or that i didn't thought of. should i blog what i wanna too here? let it be seen? let it be understand by readers?but not by you?Hmms. brb.
10.31 pm. ha. back. cried when confided in mom. what mom said does make sense. but why do the heart still ache?guess i loved you too much. your sudden change within 24 hours was not anticipated. you caught me by surprise. i wrote so much in a letter, but worth it ma i show it to you. will you read and understand? hmms.
idk. really dont. maybe i give, maybe not. i want to believe so much in your words, cause it sound so good. but can i? is it sincere as you said it is.. ?can i still trust you and your words? you told me, you had your reason. i believe its rational. but is it really? or just an excuse?just like you doubt me, and my words.. this is the exact same feeling im going through..
you said it cant be the same few weeks ago.. you said you were 'dead'. i believe you now. goodbye my lover.. the one i loved, has died. im just seeing a person who resemble like him. delusional, i believe it was. it was like this one year i was having a sweet dream, but suddenly nightmare came. woke up. messed up reality with virtual world.. if only i would not wake up.. if only.. i could turn back the time, i would want to treat you better, i promise..
let it go -- for now.
however. i looked forward to 12112009. the outing i planned. hope It would be perfect. hope the one i loved, will return for a day.. for that day.
alright eyes are tired now. tomorrow chemistry remedial. paper starting on monday. damn nervous. practical.. 5 marks, kiss goodbye. hope to get 15 marks though.. sigh.

alright. guess thats that.
tomorrow lee min ho coming to singapore.. nono, hes already here. just that tomorrow he going to Etude house or something? wanted to go. noone is available.. Ha. if not i alrdy drag, ... lol.tomorrow cousin getting married or something. but i nt gg. Prepare for O lvl. meeting kenny tomorrow, i hope..

And it's somebody 19th birthday in few hours time!(:

gotta go. welcome bac, blog.
been watching transformers 1 on SCV, since i recorded it alrdy. haha. there's always the exact same part that i will sleep. and its when the autobots are fighting with the decepticons.. HA.so in love with BU M BLE B EE ...

hA. alright off now. damn packed the schedule..
nights all.(:

it's just like a rose.. so beautiful but with so many thorns that could hurt..
actions speak louder than words. i cant fulfil what i said in those posts about us.. moving on, whatsoever . i couldnt let go, just like you did.. teach me, friend?

yours truly..

Temptations

2009-10-09T21:48:00.002+08:00

wow. i really cant take my mind off blog or comp. but luckily for me, the norm websites i visit not much updates.. Countdown to Os is 12 more days.. how i wish there will be a '0' behind and it will be exactly 4 more months instead of 1week and 5 days.. hmms.
ive come to realised its of no use to ponder on it anymore. you not used to it, or rather comfortable. fine by me then. to overcome one, is to accept it. i will eventually get used to it .. eventually over it.. eventually smile back again ..
playing this latest edition of Bejeweled Blitz on fb. tempting, furthermore its latest edition. kinda like it cause can score easily. HA.

idk why i asked stupid questions. pardon me for asking. maybe, im just not used to it yet. but after today, i guess i am? forget bout everything, does it really matters?what you said really hurts. am i the one who really want it, or do you too?yes you joked. so?sometimes, saying things jokingly without thinking, is just another way of expressing yourself, no?why do i even have the nightmare? why do i even cry in the dream?is it really the pressure? was it really my fault? why do they give me the prosecution look? am i really guilty? or is it you just told them.. ?irdk. idw to know either. cause, does it really matters?ive learnt. to realised something is to lose something you really treasure. ive realised that no matter what, friends will still be there. i lost you, but i gained more trust in friends.. i become more socialiable. heh. whatever the word is.. i lost you, but i know that they will be there. and everyone trying to get me to study. now that you are my friend, i guess, we will still be close la hor, gcbf?haa..
i loved you.. nvr regret a single moment of it. were plural, now singular?yep.HA.
i know that you know that.. friends it is then.

oh! the new Bejeweled Blitz edition game got this person talking right.. sound so like the transformer's man.. and im so in love with transformers.. HMMS. lets talk bout this movie.. as in who i went to watch it with la..
transformer one: noone. cause i seriously thought its those kind of like bad quality kinda show.. but end up, 1 year later, shown at HBO or smth.. addicted! thus, the interest has developed. LOL
transformers 2: watched with BFF.. then watched 2nd time with exbf/gcbf Zehong.. okayla. excited when 1st time watched with BFF. 2nd time, alrdy know what right.. so yea la..lol
Transformers 3: idk lehh.. come to think bout it, who will i watch it with HUH HUH HUH? future bf.. new friends? or a loner? HMMS.lol. well, does it really matters?HA.

but but but.. who wanna date me out for this upcoming new moon movie in Dec???
Aww.. lol. worst come to worst, alone lo. LOL

kla. im off. got maths and ss to do..
Love love people!!(:
All the best wishes to all those taking Os in 12 days' time...

yours truly...

finale

2009-10-04T11:32:00.003+08:00

This is gonna be a super random post. Or i rather say, a sadistic, emotional post.
Those not interested or keen, please don't read. Or comment.
Those who don't know anything, don't ask. It will hurt more.

I was playing this Mafia War on Facebook, when my energy runs out. -.- so in order to wait for it, i shall blog the happenings in my life ~~lately~~, i mean recently.
How recent? A day ago.

One year ago, you chose A. One year later, you chose B.
I was totally disheartened. Not angry, not sad. Just disheartened, disappointed.
I chose B one year ago, and i still stick to my choice one year later.
What has A done to be in the lesser priority list in your life? And then, all the memories of one year with you, flashback. Yes, i admit. I've done so many wrongs to you. But not all are my faults. Most, not all.
On September 14th 2009. It was the end for us. You thought it was just another argument, another Cold war between us. For me, it was the end. We vowed to be in unknown status, so not to be in any stress or what-so-ever. We VOWED. But it was of no use. I still treat you as my boyfriend. I just couldnt see the line, where i was not supposed to stepped over. But i still did.
Yesterday, i brought some food for you. Home cooked food. And it was so rare i did so. Who would have thought, it will be the last. Yesterday, was also the last time for everything for us..
The last home cooked food,
the last thing we bought together,
the last time we ate ice cream together,
the last time you waited for me,
the last time we hold hands,
the last time of our jokes,
the last time we shared our laughter,
the last time you would ever need to take assignments for me,
the last time our eyes met,
the last time we kissed,

as a couple. I told you what i need.. Really need from you. All those 5 things. All, you said you can't. And you said you need time.. Time. Can we afford it? 1-2 years.. Will you still remember your this promise to me, 1-2 years later?No. You said you can fulfill it only 1-2 years later.. Will you? When it was just 1 year together, so many things have changed. You, me, us, our trust, our faith, our love.. What will it be, 2 years down the road, if this were to continue.. All the bad stuffs.. I wanted the end.. But i cant say it. Thus i have you to say it. I hang up the phone with the last sentence said, " I regret.. I regret making you unhappy in this relationship.. I'm sorry" --
Materials aint what i really need.. They make up our memories too. And I really love them, as much as i love you, as they are from you. I asked you, whether you think we can ever be together again. You said no. And the reason is that you're feeling vexed at the moment. I'm willing to give you anything you want, even if i am not agreeable to it. Will you? I know i have not make you felt happy for the past 1yr plus. Cause im not the one for you. And i hope you would find the one for you.. A better one than me. You'll always have my blessings, you know that. And i hope your happy, now. I know you will never see this post or the September 14th one. It doesn't really matter. I thought you are my present, my future. But now, you are just my past.
I love you. I really do.. And i hope, we could take back our past status, GCBF. I would never forgotten that, cause i named it for us.

At times i thought i hated you. At times i thought i could never accept this. Yesterday i thought the moment i wake up the next morning, i would ask you for a chance.. And i didnt. The feeling changed. I finally accepted it. B will always be number one, to you and to me. Don't say things you don't mean or can't stick. I am not that important as times flies. So, let us go. And we can be happy, for real, for now.

One last thing, i owed you. Our one year anni. present. Fret not,i've not forgotten it. I'll give you.. By this month.

It take a minute to fall in love,
A lifetime to forget that someone. I would never forget you, for now, you are my friend..

When there's a will, there's a way..
I believe we could find someone better for us..

Our memories are deeply etched in my heart.. And i would never forget that..Any of that, i promised you, Cheng Zehong.

You are my niece's and nephew's Uncle Pig. You will always be. Even as a friend.

You saw me, yet you didnt make a U turn cause you are running out of time. I saw kids celebrating their birthday and i was reminded one of my birthday celebration. And i asked myself, how did my life turned out this way? And it was my fault that it turned out this way. I dont blame you.
You will not be there,when im old.

I will smile more.. Eventually.

I will not be blogging till exams are over, except for maybe twitter. Follow me(:
Hungry. And im off. Later meeting BFF and dumbass!(:

oh! ytd. my sis open house. my mom cooked this potato salad and roasted chicken!! MArvelous laaaaa!!! i love the potato salad and roasted chicken!!!!

lastly but not least,
Yours truly..

Graduation Ceremony

2009-10-01T21:31:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone(: it's seriously been some time since i last blogged. So here i am. Well, relating with the title, 2nd Oct 2009, is the graduation ceremony.. And guess what! Tomorrow's my niece 5th birthday!Heh. Really excited bout tomorrow's graduation ceremony.. planting of trees or smth.. lol. really like wanna borrow sis's camera and take pictures.. hmms.
words, are just words.. today is my rest day. i grant it for myself. Ha. Bro gg in NS in few days time... less than a week more to go.. got the whole room to myself for 3 months or less.. Good thing or not? it would be if i got lappy and air con install at my room! Heh! felt like heaven...
But, nonetheless,i do hope my bro will be fine as always.. No matter what, he's my brother after all.. Justin Jap and Syltra lee was eliminated. Man . its getting more and more unpredictable. Would Faizal be eliminated? Hmms.

Studies were seriously sick. grow tired of it. Sadly, no studies leaves were guaranteed so guess i will be "MC-ing" then. like as if every time in sch can focus and rmb like that. -.-
im tired. of everything. dont think i didnt blog bout personal matters, is i have none. no assumptions please. lol. alright. i wont state it.
k,. thats total random. watching jeffdunham.com nephew can memorise the i keel you part. lol. funny funny. kla. ive been hours on this.. its time to say goodbye. maybe i will blog soon, or after Os..(:till then wish me alot of goody of lucks and, take care(:

yours truly.

Gave it a miss

2009-09-23T21:21:00.003+08:00

Busy watching this Sg idol. Currently impressed by alot of the ladies's performances and Duane's with the pokerface-piano edition.. and Faizal Isa(: cool! the way Faisal sang it, make me wanna sing the song too! And it make me remembered that, that was the song that i fav. last time. LOL.
Alright. time passed. im serving the other webbies, so i blogged slower.. :/
Alright. Syltra Lee was sent out. Guess she did quite well... Oh well. I twitted already..
i dont think she deserve to be out.. why cant it be based on Judge's scores instead of solely on the audiences vote? but nonetheless, i did not vote for anyone, so far, yet.
i dont see the importance to.. at first, i just think that noone can replace Hady Mirza. Sg & Asian Idol. k, but idk. Faizal maybe? He may looked like 19 or so, but hes actually just 17(:lol.

Alright. here i am. Really dont know what to blog about, cause supposingly this post is supposed to be posted on last Wed? Not this week, but last week. Thought i would be coming blogging this one week, guess too occupied. so tired. gave today's night study a miss. just too tired. alright Off-ti(:

And so i thought..

2009-09-19T00:48:00.002+08:00

hey. anyone watched the Survivor: Samoa?idk why, but i seem to support GALU all the way. its like they got this team spirit, although there's this John like supervising and staring instead of doing the work.. but hey. eversince Russell, the team leader said his proud of his team, and some members of the YELLOW team said something back, i think that triggered it alright. so Galu won the first immunity challenge, or whatever you called that. YAY!(:
actually i felt great. simply great. Overcome it, so i accepted it. We will talk bout it after our lovely Os(: but nevertheless, we remain as friends.. cant believe i could be like this calm.. however, something happened at home. i regret so much. so to solve things up i apologized to the one im at fault with. however, im not totally at fault. ugh! why must this happen?sigh.
tired. eye swollen. if anyone, other than family members, saw like how i am today, im sure they will try not to know me..

p/s : today, i meant yesterday day.

Hari Raya in 1 day time !!!(: Last day of Puasa(:

alright. im off.
wait a minute. kristen stewart, the lead actor of the twilight saga's has a boyf. and nope, its not Robbert Pattinson, but Michael Angarano. Aww. What a waste. Oh well. So long Edward and Bella are together, that's matters doesnt it?(:

alright. now im off(:

yours truly.

Outing with sis and nepphie(:

2009-09-15T20:08:00.002+08:00

So rushed home immediately after doing survey. halfway, i sian reading the questions, so anyhow C-ing and B-ing here and there. except for Question 30. I am proud to be a singaporean. A for that(: heh. if not i put it as D without reading the question. So coincidencely its that question. lol.
Yep, i crapped bout not wanting to b e g for a chance.. Im willing to do more than that actually. Yep. Idk. Idk what i want, nor what to do. If its really the last, let me be with you, for one day. Thats all im asking for now.. Thought i would be strong, but guess not.. its so tough. but i believe time will heal.. the memories we shared.., could be replaced, but never forgotten.. im certain no guys will promise and assured me the things you did.. love me like the way you did. but i guess no matter how describe your love, it wont change one thing.. today went out with 2nd sis, and nephew came into the picture, he wanna follow ma. go ps and go vivo. on the way to ps, saw tkh. lol. i taught daniel to call him Uncle Botak.lol.
bought shoes finally. tmr is buying bag.
continue again soon. the mentalist started. so tired.
really dont know what will happen anymore. if your happy now. i rather let it be then.
im quite cheered by the quiz. When will i find love that quiz. didnt expect it to be this year. lol.
last but not least, SIMON BAKER is L O V E ♥♥♥♥♥♥

lol. he is one of the lead actor in the mentalist. and hey ppl, guess what. its 11.15pm and ive not started studying. SUCKY.lol

seeing you happy far away, do content my heart, though without denies, it hurts. cause its not because of me.. nevermind. i just need time yea?we will talk it out.. soon.

Yours truly(:

It's over..

2009-09-14T16:44:00.010+08:00

Goodbye my love,
Welcome my friend(:

27th Aug 2008, the date that it all started, with a simple, Good night, I love you.. on 11.56pm
has ended today. 14 Sept 2009, 4.25pm No wonder i find today's date is something weird with it.. Thought mom's birthday or something.. But couldn't be.. Mum's birthday is last month, 14th Aug. So this is it then.. And to hear it from you, on the telephone.. That you can no longer give me another chance, cause you are just being you.. I told myself, this day would come.. and when it come, just, accept it.
I know its my fault. i apologised. guess your too angry to forgive me. and so you said what you said. so let me said what i said, again. im sorry for all this while..
earlier on, was happily receiving photos from you.. and it came down to this.. i know i push it too far.. went over the limit.. and i didnt expect this outcome.. but it did happen. so let me say what i wanna say.
i really cried so hard.. eyes swollen.. i dare not see myself in the mirror. received all those photos from you.. all was so nice. really dont know which to put.. guess you made my job easier.. furthermore, earlier the day, teacher confronted regarding our studies.. both are deproving. and i know. guess it wont be any longer. you heard too much from me.. just too much words that ive hurt you deeply. i know you would leave me one day, no matter how many numerous times you said, you wont. but you havent heard this. wanted to tell you, but kept forgetting.. the only regrets, genuine regrets i have in this relationship with you, was to ever hurt you so deeply. guess never judge the day though its good at the beginning.. it doesnt always last. i love you. give me some time to let it go. to accept it. to overcome it is to accept it, so i accept it. i accept the end of our relationship. i just logged into my friendster account. just decided to delete it. theres nothing meaningful in there any longer. all our previous messages. i guess its best to leave it, remembered. now, i quite regret paying the prom night fees. asking mdm yeo can refund. seriously. k. our memories, i will always remember. never thought its this difficult to let go. how do i ever rely on myself ever again? im too reliant on you. for everything. just when everyone, in my family knew you.. its okay. so long they have good impression of you. you are a good person anyway. i knew i dont ever deserve you from the beginning. at first, i really can have a clear image of us, being together, married. have our children. happily together. but now.. gone. i thought its easy. even now, when i thought of it, tears just rolled down my cheeks. i really do want to treasure you. cherish you. be with you. nevermind. i get it. and i accept it. i really do hope you would find your happiness soon. just like how you rarely cared for me, you need not worry for me anymore. guess you wont be seeing this that soon either, Cheng Zehong. i dont know how am i gonna face tomorrow. first day without you by my side. well, its better to be loved and lost, than to have never been loved at all. im really glad, you were once mine. (:
and now ive decided to postponed deleting fs account, temporary... yay. -------
few days time, hari raya. guess i need a super recovery medicine. friends, i'm in need of you guys. please dont say, this is what ive always wanted. i dont. its so sweet, yet so bitter. its so hard to really let go.. in this relationship, ive really cared for you. dont want you to injure yourself. and when we are in arguements, or nearing to breakups, gave you chances.. but now you didnt. i guess you tolerated me too much le. ive realised. its not bout what i can give, but what can you take. im gonna cry my eyes out. and stupid, tomorrow e maths paper prelim3. ugh!

Life without you is equivalent to a body without a soul..
guess im gonna prove myself wrong.. but i still love you. my friend.
i dont wanna it end, cause seeing how others blissful with their partner, make me wanna love you more. but sometimes, we get it, sometimes we dont.
now i get it.. it aint bout how long we've been together, but how deep it is for us..
i believe in fate.. if there's fate, we'll be together again, if not.. i wish you all the very best in whatever you doing. your the first boyf to last with me over a year, to be my friend although we ended it..(:
im trying to be strong, people. it aint easy. i know you can find a better one than me..
Sigh. even faking a smile could be so difficult.. and i thought im the strong one between the two of us. heh. so my sister dream is true. lol. she dreamt that we ended because you fall for a chinese girl. but i guess reality is that we ended it so that you can find your chinese girl.. heh.
im not gonna think bout the possibility that we gonna be together again, cause i dont want to be the one to b e g for a chance.. i agreed cause i believe you would be happier without me.. and i can sense, though you dont want, you too think its the best..

i guess i gonna wash my face. and head for bed. not sure will eat till not? and study for the rest of the night. oya. i only had 1.5 hr of sleep the night before. so what do you expect?lol

ibetyoucouldbotherboutmeanymoreimcertainyournottheleastbotheredboutmeandcanconcentrateonyourtuitionimnothingbut ajinxtoyou.ineverwantedthisending.never.

alright.goodbye for now(:
image doesnt really matters now, since you are no longer in my life.. no need to look good for you, and vice versa(:im sure your happy..
Yours truly..

Missing

2009-09-12T11:35:00.002+08:00

Mom's money missing.. not much, not little either. just the right amount that could buy food with.. k. we not in pathetic state or what, but hey. few tens missing, is still money what. -.- mom thought she have 100$ in her account, only to find out, left 40$ after checking.. k. then she go to see again today, only to find out it left 17$. stupid sia. how come can like this de. really want to find out. hope mom's money would stop depleting without any reason. its like... you lost money carelessly.. but this one, is without mom's knowledge... if have reasonable reason, fine. its okay. but if not.. wow. i really dont know what i would have done..
Guess whatever thing you do must be around someone i knew huh?Sheesh. to think i would have fallen for you during the most stupidest moments.. Nope. i not, seriously, not referring to boyf. (:
Guess its better to treasure and cherish, then to have lost forever.. I'll make it up to boyf. somehow.. Life with me, is hell for him..=/ Ask him ba. idk.
Yesterday, i cleared out something! HAHA. Finally right?i know too. but i didnt clear my room, just my drawer(: quite an achievement lehhh.. Cause this year already clear out wardrobe and drawer, which i dont do every year.. With the help of mom la, when clearing wardrobe, if not every clothes also i'll want to keep.. lol.
Yesterday, tse ee called me.. at 11.30pm. guess what? he so kind, pei me chat till 3.30am. lol. cant believe it lor, but we chatted for 4 hours, after like so long never chat le.. lol. we talked various stuff.. and how i wished, somehow.. haha.. he knew it. but he wont be here to see it.. so nvrmd(:
later going out with boyf. either to study or watch movie. seriously. when i mention movie to mom. she dont like. cause it's a waste of money.. but hey. i 1 month nvr watch any movie le. its an achievement, fyi. tsk. lol. wanna watch the time traveller's wife.. or coco before chanel.. or others. got so many movies la.. -,-
see how ba. boyf. haven even wake up la-.- i slept later, and lesser time than him leh, yet i still wake up earlier. lol. nola. mom got woke me up la in the middle.. but still! heh. im no pig. this proves.. lol. dont say.(: just wait for nephew to meet boyf. and call him "Uncle PIG"(:
Hari Raya coming soon.. next sunday. means, monday holiday?hmms. so fast. this yr, fasting month, i didnt fast for 11-14 days. ohmy.mom clearing out the storeroom. guess will be needing to help her. hmms.
experiencing headache now. sigh.lack of sleep.lol. dont really feel like bathing.. cause i still feel clean.lol. yesterday i bath, finished bathing at 9.30PM. so haven 24 hours yet.lol.nola. later go bath. when i know boyf wake up le and what time to meet him(:
Heard Subway going to apply to have the halal certification. i have 2 different reaction to this. first, happy. elated. finally. wondering why mosburger or yoshinoya cant apply. hmms. second, scared, uh-oh. lol. boyf gonna ask me to go there and have lunch with him, as often as possible. lol. dont mind la. but, lol. imagine, everyday.. hmms..
kla. off. and be back soon. gonna get my hands on Sony VAIO laptop, similar with bff. Nikon D3000. and samsung Jet. And itouch(:
i dreamt i have the Nikon D3000. and it so ex la. 1300$. i dont even know i have this kind of money. lol. And when i bought it, it full of scratches. and no extra batt. no warranty either. toopid. lol
alright. im off. loveyou(:
Yours truly

Hooked. In need of help.

2009-09-05T21:30:00.003+08:00

With relating to the title above, im referring to psp games and computer. i just dont know why, but everyday, i just needa use the comp. play the psp games. its kinda addicting... and kinda sucky as im not doing any studying. irresponsible student, i know. i just cant help it. although with the stupid memory card or some faulty game which always causes the psp to lag or stuck, im still hooked into it! Damn. Im official gamer man.. this is what you get, when your boyf is a gamer... lol.! Actually boyf, didnt influence me much.. Is H O O K E D until .sigh. how do fishes escape when they get hooked to the fishing line? When the fisherman took it out.. And by that time, it is.. DEAD. Do i have the same fate as the fish? Only realises not enough time to study, when it is too late.. This is sucky. Even now, im trying to convince myself, that studies are the priority.. Not games.. It just too difficult to stored in my brain.. Its past midnight. Dont be fooled by the time.. I clicked on it and typing it on different time. yep.
Anyway, KCDW is my motivator! yea! Can see on my MSN PM! -.-
He had been motivating me, advising me.. Telling me not to give up.. Lending me a helping hand.. Only in Maths and Science.. LOL.
And chatting with Kg.. Alot of stuffs. With Serene now too.. Chat bout lovelife.
Anyway, dilemma bout what type of phone to choose.. N5800, C905 or Samsung Jet.?
Been complaining to busy kg bout it.. Guess have cause some hindrance to him..
LOL. he agreed when i say that myself is a PEST. TT nola. jokingly only. LOL
Talked bout phone with him for the passed 2 hours.. YEP.
Finally chatting with kenny and kg, makes me happier.. At least, in the midst of the preparations for Os, (or busy playing games), we still have long conversations(:
Anyway, today woke up quite early.. Helped mom with the kuih.. she made this pineapple tart, family version.. She so enthusiast bout it lor. 8am alrdy start making.lol i help her to slightly cut the on top.. then put the first baking trayinto the oven.. after 15mins, the colour doesnt seem appetizing.. But hey! What did we say bout "dont judge a book by its cover" ? It tasted absoutely delicious! I helped her eat too! =X i never fast.. How to.? monthly come le.. lol.
Want? Ask me! Ask me! I bring samples for you!(: Or come to my house for Hari Raya la.LOL.Address? Stalk me la. lol. JK. Ask me.
Yup. Spend my day re-playing the God of War. Damn Addicting.. The DJ max too.
gotta stop le. If not studies kiss goodbye. Sigh
Still considering, later study with boyf, wanna bring psp not. zzz
will bring, but not for during studying time la. dono la.
serene offline, left chatting with kg.. Any latest movie coming out? Heard FD4 not nice. Cause its about seeing how ppl get killed. But okay what.. just gruesome.. Lol. K, im not those feminine kind of girls. Not surprise. Lol. Bff knows that.

Just realise, my blog is nothing, but full of words.. No pics.. nothing.. Not much la.
Reasons partly being, 1. im lazy to load and stuffs. lol. 2. i dont have Digi. Cam. and good quality phones.. Yep. So patience, my friend. lol. Im eyeing for the Samsung Jet. C905, not bad too. Left this two options..
kla. im off from blogging. Heh. So long. Lol. So inlove with this current skin la! so nice!(:
A new blogskin comes with the new hairstyle!(:lol

Goodnights, Goodbye and Goodmorning to all(:

yours truly