life is a mess. hahaaaa...
fuck u man. waste my sms.
eh, im down here again.. doing smth, and gonna work on my fnn coursework.
damn, sec5 no life.lol.
i rly dono should i go for the camp or not.
majority ask me go. i hesitate.
kenny encouraged me to go.dear ask me go, mom ask me go, wen sort of ask me go.
but the thing is , do i want to go?
whats the point of majority ask me go, but i dont want to go?
i dont want the history to repeat itself. i dont want to end up in regrets.
just now intend to psycho yk to go, end up he psycho me dont go.
and its all during physic remedial. lol.
he sort of succeeded la. maybe, partly because, i dont feel like gg.
yes, it will be the last camp. Perhaps.
i dont know why i even have this feeling. i should not.
its the pressure on me. stupid ranks, stupid me. if only i did not go for the interview. if only i had not work and contribute so much. if only i did not join the cca, if only i did not even listen to mom on which cca to join.lol. eversince i watched TCCOBB, i begin to think the way he thinks. if only the car wasnt held up, if only the girl hasnt go back to answer her phone call....
alot of sec5 wont go. partly, booked. or dont bother.
im alot happier someone not gg. but, wth.
i dont feel like gg.
i really dont want the history to repeat itself. maybe its not too late to change smth about it..
i should change it..especially me with the high ranks. Great power comes great responsibility aye? wth.
maybe i would go. just for this once. but if only 2 turn up, would it be we are the extras one? will i end up emo-ing there late at night.?cant i just slack?zz
i rly dono. each time i decided to go, something holds me back. i really dont feel like gg.
i dont want to go, but if i dont go, i feel guilty. feel guilty of abandoning my responsibility.
if i go, i really dont feel belonged, what more being appreciated? i dont want to make use of. if gg there only to show face, lighten their burden, i rather not go. if go only bring regrets, i rather not go.
tell me the future. tell me my decision, cause i really dont know.
countdown, 3 days time.
best rank ever? cadet. why? no responsibility. and when as a cadet, want to have high ranks. why?can tekan people. now i dont see any of it.

and i dont even know why i making a big deal out of it. why?cause i still havent come into a decision. mostly i will go.but probably not. wth. i still have to face it soon....F U CK.lol

i really dont feel that, well..nevermind. it doesnt matter. why?cause i dont matter to you.i guess.
off now. be back soon.
cough never leaves, and is hurting my throat.sigh.

coughing off,
SMBI