vague memories

Oh yes. before i totally forgets..
the memories.. so much for 'family' term used.
im not part of it. only my presence were.physically not emotionally.
like i have been saying, i dont feel part of it. i never was, and never will be.
the last photo hold no memories for me.. either i can hardly remember,
or, i am not part of it..
the last incident marks a scar in me. i would never forget it.
one whole thing can erase all the contributions i made, i suppose.
i guess i am not that strong afterall.. to hold on any longer..
i did my best.maybe bcos of the majority and minority..i guess.
i wont bother much about this 'family' i guess..
a presence lesser, wont be that much obvious anymore.
thats what i know.

it always hurts to see,
the one whom claimed its family,
just doesnt have me part of the memories..
and they will say its my fault for being a wet blanket,
for not wanting to be part of them.
although they really didnt say it.. nor hint it..
but i can sense it,
and that's when im speechless.
maybe, im just a girl with lotsa of paranoia..

always,
im not part in those photos..
dont try to coax me around..
you dont know what it felt like..

next to my friend.
yes, just to my friend.
since thats how you bothered to sms.
i dont bother to reply such smses.
others may not feel offended.
but i do. perhaps it will be appreciated if you could use a nicer words,
nicer tone to msg.
till then.

Again. apologies for typo. using 6 fingers still.
alright im gonna study.cause thats what matters.

baby tell me ur safe at home.. please.

SMBI