finale

This is gonna be a super random post. Or i rather say, a sadistic, emotional post.
Those not interested or keen, please don't read. Or comment.
Those who don't know anything, don't ask. It will hurt more.

I was playing this Mafia War on Facebook, when my energy runs out. -.- so in order to wait for it, i shall blog the happenings in my life lately, i mean recently.
How recent? A day ago.

One year ago, you chose A. One year later, you chose B.
I was totally disheartened. Not angry, not sad. Just disheartened, disappointed.
I chose B one year ago, and i still stick to my choice one year later.
What has A done to be in the lesser priority list in your life? And then, all the memories of one year with you, flashback. Yes, i admit. I've done so many wrongs to you. But not all are my faults. Most, not all.
On September 14th 2009. It was the end for us. You thought it was just another argument, another Cold war between us. For me, it was the end. We vowed to be in unknown status, so not to be in any stress or what-so-ever. We VOWED. But it was of no use. I still treat you as my boyfriend. I just couldnt see the line, where i was not supposed to stepped over. But i still did.
Yesterday, i brought some food for you. Home cooked food. And it was so rare i did so. Who would have thought, it will be the last. Yesterday, was also the last time for everything for us..
The last home cooked food,
the last thing we bought together,
the last time we ate ice cream together,
the last time you waited for me,
the last time we hold hands,
the last time of our jokes,
the last time we shared our laughter,
the last time you would ever need to take assignments for me,
the last time our eyes met,
the last time we kissed,

as a couple. I told you what i need.. Really need from you. All those 5 things. All, you said you can't. And you said you need time.. Time. Can we afford it? 1-2 years.. Will you still remember your this promise to me, 1-2 years later?No. You said you can fulfill it only 1-2 years later.. Will you? When it was just 1 year together, so many things have changed. You, me, us, our trust, our faith, our love.. What will it be, 2 years down the road, if this were to continue.. All the bad stuffs.. I wanted the end.. But i cant say it. Thus i have you to say it. I hang up the phone with the last sentence said, " I regret.. I regret making you unhappy in this relationship.. I'm sorry" --
Materials aint what i really need.. They make up our memories too. And I really love them, as much as i love you, as they are from you. I asked you, whether you think we can ever be together again. You said no. And the reason is that you're feeling vexed at the moment. I'm willing to give you anything you want, even if i am not agreeable to it. Will you? I know i have not make you felt happy for the past 1yr plus. Cause im not the one for you. And i hope you would find the one for you.. A better one than me. You'll always have my blessings, you know that. And i hope your happy, now. I know you will never see this post or the September 14th one. It doesn't really matter. I thought you are my present, my future. But now, you are just my past.
I love you. I really do.. And i hope, we could take back our past status, GCBF. I would never forgotten that, cause i named it for us.

At times i thought i hated you. At times i thought i could never accept this. Yesterday i thought the moment i wake up the next morning, i would ask you for a chance.. And i didnt. The feeling changed. I finally accepted it. B will always be number one, to you and to me. Don't say things you don't mean or can't stick. I am not that important as times flies. So, let us go. And we can be happy, for real, for now.

One last thing, i owed you. Our one year anni. present. Fret not,i've not forgotten it. I'll give you.. By this month.

It take a minute to fall in love,
A lifetime to forget that someone. I would never forget you, for now, you are my friend..

When there's a will, there's a way..
I believe we could find someone better for us..

Our memories are deeply etched in my heart.. And i would never forget that..Any of that, i promised you, Cheng Zehong.

You are my niece's and nephew's Uncle Pig. You will always be. Even as a friend.

You saw me, yet you didnt make a U turn cause you are running out of time. I saw kids celebrating their birthday and i was reminded one of my birthday celebration. And i asked myself, how did my life turned out this way? And it was my fault that it turned out this way. I dont blame you.
You will not be there,when im old.

I will smile more.. Eventually.

I will not be blogging till exams are over, except for maybe twitter. Follow me(:
Hungry. And im off. Later meeting BFF and dumbass!(:

oh! ytd. my sis open house. my mom cooked this potato salad and roasted chicken!! MArvelous laaaaa!!! i love the potato salad and roasted chicken!!!!

lastly but not least,
Yours truly..