my heartfelts..

ive just gotta learn how to smile and hid all the negative feelings from the people that whom care for me, like as if what happened is just a bad dream.

sometimes, being oblivious to things, is the only way to escape from being drown to the depth of hurts.

----

have you ever been so sick of your life now, that you want to go back to your secondary school life? yes, who hasnt. dont know what yo do now. am lost. always in a team, i felt that i drag them down. im sorry. to everyone who has been in my group before.

dragging people down.. thats why i always dread the idea of being a leader. like what? ive been leader twice out of 13 weeks? like zomg right?!




and finally pictures right? yup. thats my boyfriend. my MALAY boyfriend (; My MIA. heh! 050510.. today he isnt with me.. maybe fetching me from school. provided he's well and all. My love, please take care. Truth be told, i thought that previous boyfriend is the most doting one and all. he is, but Love has been more doting than the previous one ((: i love you. he bought me stuffs and pamper me like what? much can? and what, we only quite a newlycouple(; Ilovethisr/s. hope everytime would be like this gooooooooood. (;

this is my bff. and i missed spending time with her. though just recent i have been going to her house, but it aint the same like how we used to during the hols. long story short; i missed her.

this is my girlfriends that would last me a lifetime. secondary school friends are there for you through thick and thin. know why? know why somehow or some way, they are always on the priority than tertiary ones? cause for 5 years we've been through almost all the things together, while tertiary ones, those that are not as good, are what? minimum is 6mths or 1mth. max is 3 years. how to compared to 5 years of friendship. ? hey girls. if you are reading this, i missed those times. its been a while since we last hang. please make one soon. Real soon.

am not happy with the current situation. Its not about my wonderful W34F mates, neither bout boyfriend. all im being bothered right now, is just one thing. and that is thing that is outside W34F. God knows why i treasure friendships so much.. Sadly you dont. and you chose to be with those that you think could make you happy. How hurt it seems. Cause ive considered you as a source of my happiness. Yet.. Am puzzled why i can never have one malay bestie. Like, is it so tough? the first one is in primary school. She went to another girl during P5. When knowing that that friend abandoned her for some new friends, she come find me. As young as i could be at that point of time, i was hurt and kept my distance away from her. She nice and all. Shouldnt have. Prolly, she is in junior college by now. A bright and pretty girl. Sadly, now we hold no contact. Since primary school, ive been labelled as the weakest one. Always been bullied. Sec1. Mixed with Chinese instead, till this 2nd malay girl came. Thought shes could be it and all. But mixing with her make my academics grade fall. and she blame me for what happened to her. Most importantly, she trusted hypocrites than me. Make a hell out of everything. Vandalised my name everywhere like a low hooligan. Of cos she with the hypos. Thank God, My family is there with me through thick and thin. Then apologised. Wanna make things like the old times with me. Wrote multiple of apology letters. As usual, i ignored. Ignorance is bliss right? Now, only the hypos still pestering me some time. No life ~!.

Now. You. A fun, lovely, cute cheerful, loud, fashion type of girl. Someone i can be close with. Dont know why i cant talk to you over your personal issue. But just to let you know. If you ever read until this post. Ive treated you like my sister. You may have others and dont need me much. And we may not be as close as last time. But im always here for you. This time round, i would not let it be ruined. Cause she's worth it. Much.

No wonder i always around Chinese only. Dont know why i cant mix with Malays. Maybe because ive got chinese blood in me? lol. hahaha, All's well, end well. Iwill be okay. Things will be okay.

Needa HANGGGG! texted mr Loh. LOL. really become a teacher. lol! Relief .ME too. hahaha, but over the hols ((: Dk next week can get? Hope if apply LOA, will be approve... But guess no. Oh well.

Can i relive my old memories? Iwannastayinnanchiau!!